Frank Lampard is two things. He is an astonishingly talented midfielder who is capable of dominating a game against the highest class opposition (examples being the two games against Barcelona in this season's Champions League). Then there is the other Frank. In the last five seasons in 10 Premiership games against Liverpool and 9 against Manchester United and Arsenal, Mr Lampard has managed no goals (apart from one penalty). 28 games; one penalty!
Some players show a significant differential in performance against lower level teams compared to the upper level sides which is understandably explained by their inability to operate against top defences or a tendency to bully the weaker opponents. But this does not describe Lampard. If he can dominate Deco and Co so utterly and completely, one would think that he could have managed to achieve a similar motivational level of performance in just one of those 28 games.
Similar irregularities are exposed by looking at England internationals. Firstly, the data... In the last 13 competitive England games (ie World Cup and Euro), Frank has banked just one goal against Poland (plus one penalty). The only other international goals in the last two years are the ones that he managed against the mighty Jamaica and Greece in friendly games. In the World Cup Finals, Lampard had more shots on goal than the rest of the England squad put together. Goals? Zero... The vast majority of his efforts troubled Row Z more than the opposition keeper. Secondly, the visuals... In Saturday's farce of a gambling agreed draw in Israel, my most lasting memory is of frank Frank beating the ground in mock anger after missing the best chance of the game.
Historically, we have detailed the manipulations involved in England games on numerous occasions and part of that overview included the fact that our Trading Team are CERTAIN of the involvement of three players in the corrupting of England matches. Two of those individuals are not currently in the squad due to injury and selection issues. This puts an incredible amount of pressure on the other operator (whoever he might be).
One of the prime reasons that England are so shit is because of Lampard's control of central midfield - McLaren's strategy seemingly being to place dodgy Frank in quarterback role and honest and brilliant Gerrard out on the wing where he can have as little influence as possible. The bookies worked hard to get McLaren into his job and they have been milking their profitable rewards ever since.
As Lampard is currently under pressure, I wouldn't be remotely surprised to see him dominate the amateurs of Andorra tonight (although I am out of the office today and am refusing to get involved in the midweek games so don't quote me on that).
Please note that none of this implies that we believe that Frank Lampard works with bookmakers to achieve optimal market returns on football betting markets.
However, Chelsea are correct to be avoiding offering any contract extension to Liability Lampard. How good would Chelsea be without him?
PS Lampard's fractured wrist has been spun to explain why he misses tonight's mismatch. There is no proof that the injury was caused by carrying his bars of gold... By the way, be wary of betting on England to be ahead at HT/FT. They will win but possibly/probably after a 0-0 H-T.
PPS By the way #2... If Israel had been extended by England at the weekend, would they have been able to beat Estonia today by 4-0 exhibiting excessive fitness in the process? I don't think so...
