Wednesday 24 June 2009

The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth, But What About The Mineral Rights? #

We told you that sport is merely a Baudrillardian Phase of the Image entity, and did you believe us?

Well, did you?

The Twenty20 Cricket World Cup was the proof that you needed.

Time for some elucidation.

War, what is it good for?
Absolutely nothing?
No.

It is good for geopolitical posturing, the claiming of mineral rights, the creation of a cornered war economy, the dislocation of the public gaze from deep state shenanigans...
And it is good for sporting performance.

Sport is war, with the grizzly bits now omitted - no eye-gouging, no tackles from behind and only one bouncer per over, thank you very much.

Sport is sanitised war as a spectacle but, psychologically, it is another beast entirely.

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The two finalists in the Twenty20 were Pakistan and Sri Lanka, and each team were markedly bolstered by the actions of their military against minority groupings within their own population.
This wasn't war against a common enemy but, rather, 'war against themselves', or the disenfranchised sections of 'themselves'.
But, analytically, the impact was coincident and, some might say, enhanced.
Both Pakistan and Sri Lanka markedly overperformed in the Twenty20 and it is our conjecture that 'war against themselves' provides a greater short-term fillip to a sporting nation than 'war against others'.

'War against others' has enhanced risk - risk of a determined fightback, risk of unknown weapons, risk of collaboration of other states against your interest, risk of media exposure of war atrocities and crimes (as if war is able to be anything other than atrocious and criminal) and, most importantly, risk of treading on the mineral rights of the hyperpower and their entourage of client states.
The risk-reward equation has the propensity to be very messy in such scenarios.
Sun Tzu would have tut-tutted.

But 'war against themselves' is different.
You are able to obliterate vast numbers of your citizens in Tamil Eelam or the Swat Valley and all of the risk is removed.
Control of airspace, seaspace, landspace and, indeed, space prevents any fightback by choking off weapon supplies.
No state will work against your aims as you may always claim that your slaughters are merely an internal matter. This also leads to the exclusion the world media, in that such a thing exists.
If some concoction of hyperreality allows for the 'themselves' to be labelled "terrorist" then better still, as untrammelled state terror trumps Tamil/Taliban terror any day of the week.

There is also the added 'joker' to be played in 'war against themselves' - ObamaWorld will provide the necessary supportive satellite imagery, deadly drones and mercenary psychopathy to engender the necessary outcome.

Of course, in a 'war against themselves', there are those who are only linked to 'themselves' by location, religion, race etc, and it is a necessary adjunct to the process that these poor people should be "shocked and awed" by the militaristic and terroristic state power. Any differentiation between a freedom fighter/religious zealot and a human being simply going about her/his life is no longer on the international statute book - the world silence over the Gaza Panopticon saw to that - and the most efficient and performative manner of maximising the economic output of a 'war against themselves' is to mash the masses and the sub-military as if they were one and the same thing.

"Being Irish means we're guilty, so we're guilty one and all" sang the Wolfetones in a prescient reminder of the mechanics of state terror.

Of course, "Shock and Awe" is not new - the carpet bombing of Dresden wasn't a war crime as "we" did it, Hiroshima/Nagasaki wasn't a war crime even though it happened after the war had finished and just a matter of hours before a realisable alternative would be actioned - the experiment had to be completed.

So, congratulations to the Pakistan cricket team on their tainted triumph.
Congratulations, too, to the Sri Lankans on reaching the Final.
The supportive scenes of celebration in the refugee camps of northern Pakistan and Tamil Eelam must have been a wonderful sight, not that we got any glimpse of such tyrannies of fun as the Fourth (E)State is now focused on Real People in Real Distress in Iran.

In a suitably Orwellian inversion of Reality, the Iranian football team were knocked out of the World Cup 2010 in the very midst of this 'revolution'.

Power to the People?
Exactly how selective do they wish for our nuances to be?

But, on his slide to xenophobia, Slack Jaw needs to get strategic.
Invade the North of England now, and then place what remains of the state coffers on England to win the World Cup.

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© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological

Friday 19 June 2009

Qualitative Easing #

Allegedly, Howard Webb is the best referee in England, although it would prove difficult to prove such a defence in a court of law.

Over the last twelve months, Webb has been sent home early from Euro 2008 after he erroneously gave Austria a fake penalty in injury time against Poland, he decided both the Premier League title race and the relegation of Newcastle, once again via incorrect interpretations of the rules, and, as a cake-icing, he managed to get two key decisions and a reading of the regulations wrong in yet another injury time chaos in the Confederations Cup match between Brazil and Egypt.

Yet, Keith Hackett of the Professional Game Match Officials Board (PGMOB) saw fit to give Webb 34 matches last season. Of these events, fully 24 games were live televised matches, 19 of which were on the BSkyB platform.
That is, in every other round of matches, Webb was given a high profile Sky match to officiate.

And these matches were most definitely high profile...
Liverpool v Manchester United, Chelsea v Liverpool, Arsenal v Manchester United, Arsenal v Liverpool, Manchester United v Chelsea and Liverpool v Arsenal meaning that Webb officiated at 50% of the Big 4 clashes.
Oh, and he was given the FA Cup Final as well.

Now if the PGMOB were a meritocracy, how could such a template be justified?
What would have happened in the title race if Webb had not given Manchester a fictitious penalty at 0-2 versus Spurs?
What would have happened if PC Webb had not falsely cancelled out the Newcastle "equaliser" against Fulham on the penultimate weekend?

But the man is certainly powerful as the regulations are altered based on his professional indiscretions.
After he gave Brazil a corner in the Confed Cup match, he was informed of the reality via the 4th Official who was viewing events on a tv monitor. He consequently sent off the Egyptian defender and gave Brazil a match-winning penalty.
After the North Africans protested, Webb pretended that it was an Assistant Referee who had informed him of his error, a position that was rather undermined by FIFA's removal of pitchside monitors in the aftermath of this latest web of deceit.

There are other factors relating to our Yorkshire bobby too.
We have posted before about racist biases in his match decision selection - his last 15 sendings off in matches involving Premier League teams in the last three seasons has seen only two white British players dismissed.
Meanwhile, one Black player alone, Emmanuel Adebayor, has seen red twice at the hands of Plod.

Webb also has the most profound Bias Ratio of any PGMOB match official.
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Webb also demonstrates other match bias matrices not entirely surprising in a policeperson.

Obviously, it must go without being said, that all such biases are unconscious.
Webb isn't racist, he isn't biased, he isn't ############, he is simply our best referee.

But, what about Plod's links to ################ then?
Why would our leading match referee have statistically significant links with ####
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But apparently, Webb isn't a market manipulator either - such sigmatic statistics prove nothing in ScudamoreWorld.

Even if Plod is none of these things, a fact that we would be willing to contest in a court of law, he is absolutely not the best referee in the country OR the whole PGMOB roster needs to be overhauled so that talent rises to the surface rather than those suitably connected.

Meanwhile, in Turkey, the Turkish Football Federation (TTF) has banned referee Halil Ibrahim Dincdag for the "crime" of being Homosexual, after the ref outed himself on television.
The TTF dug around to find an argument to revoke Dincdag's licence: since he was exempt from military service due to his Homosexuality, thus falling into the army's classification of "unfit", the federation said he would be physically unfit for a refereeing job as well. Dincdaq has also been retired from a radio show that he used to host in Trabzon and is now in hiding in Istanbul.
Being a bit of a hero, Dincdag intends fighting his case all the way to the European Court of Human Rights if necessary.
And it probably will be so.

"While an openly homosexual mayor is running Paris, [in Turkey] we are still at the point of discussing whether a homosexual can run a football match," grumbled Murat Soylemez, Dincdag's lawyer.

"While openly talented referees officiate in the lower English leagues, [in England] we are still at the point of discussing whether a racist, ########################, biased, professionally compromised policeman can run a football match," grumbled the Plain People of England.

Its Queer Up North.
Qualitatively Queer At Least.

* All posts labelled # are only available fully by subscription.

© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological

Tuesday 16 June 2009

Mock The Murk #

Bond Dealer Decides Not To Attempt To Prove His Innocence In Court, After All

"I totally understand where you are coming from. I understand what you are looking for, and certainly myself and Harry [Redknapp] would be open to listening to, you know, in order to come to some arrangement, if you like, where whatever we need, we'll make sure that we call you, and what you really want is that we call you and only you."

The words of Kevin Bond, Redknapp's assistant at Tottenham, during the BBC Panorama programme exploring the bung culture in English football.

We should currently be enjoying Mr Bond's case at the High Court against the BBC - he accused them of all manner of libellous nonsenses.
Shame that Mr Bond decided, just six days prior to the start of the case, to drop the libel action without any out-of-court agreement with the other party.

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We think that it is a really good thing that such people have such elevated positions in the Premier League.

Government Exploring The Introduction Of Post-Orwellian Treblespeak To De-democratise Confusion

"What we have to do is to return some notion of authenticity" - Matthew Taylor, New Labour Apparatchik.

We need to "make parliament look like a modern institution" according to Peter Hain MP.

The selection of words is key here.
We're in the 'justice being seen to be done' matrix that defines the establishment's attitude to the masses in Britain.

Most people would actually prefer a little bit more than "some notion".

Slavoj Žižek: "... the task is to produce a symbolic fiction (a truth that intervenes into the Real), that causes a change within it."

Michel Foucault: "... what rules of right are implemented by the relations of power in the production of discourses of truth?"

Guy Debord: "In both form and content, the spectacle serves as a total justification of the conditions and goals of the existing system."

Jean Baudrillard: "... the political class and civil society exchange their respective woes..., the one serving up its corruption and scandals, the other its artificial convulsions and inertia."

Dear Leader To Be Denied World Cup 2010 Place Due To "Vain Playboy" Allegations Resurfacing

FIFA has only gone and got itself into a geopolitical pickle again over World Cup qualification.
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Fourth Estate Accidentally Reveals A True Reality, Action Accordingly Taken To Prevent Repetition

The information regarding criminal behaviour by members of parliament only reached the public space due to the actions of a whistleblower.
Journalists at the Telegraph paper were well aware of the shenanigans in the elected house but chose not to report their knowledge until the conjunction of a suitable whistleblower combined with falling newspaper revenues producing a marketable momentum.
Due to the tilting in the revelations, we now have two neo-fascist MEPs in Britain.

We spoke with the Telegraph Group six months ago regarding the systemic corruption in the Premier League. We offered to provide them with full evidence regarding the adjustment of match results for the benefit of both insiders and bookmakers. We were able to offer a full paper trail of private market trading. Due to security issues, we insisted on personal anonymities being maintained. No agreement was reached due to this latter point.

The paper, which had been showing an inkling of interest in this massive sporting corruption (the reason for our approach), has now returned to mind-numbingly irrelevant journalism after SBOBET, the shirt sponsors of West Ham, had taken the paper to court over previous allegations in the paper over the Norwich City versus Derby County Affair.

Consequently, until this week, the Telegraph webpage was still giving us the news that Scunthorpe United had been promoted - which was very good of them as Scunny reached the Championship 23 days ago.

The Fourth Estate?
What a state...

City's Midfield To Be Renamed "The Oil Hedge" To More Accurately Reflect The Mancunian Venture

Abu Dhabi United (ADU) insisted when they took over Manchester City that they were in for the long haul - no short-term profit-taking from the Middle East, we were informed.
In coincidence, ADU took out an 11% share in Barclays Bank, again this was marketed as a strategic investment.

After 7 months ADU closed out its stake in the British bank realising a £500 million profit in the process.

The Man City hyperreality is linked to the oil price and the state of the global economy. The latter is truly fucked and acts as a indeterminate variable in the assessment of ADU's intentions but the former is much more interesting.
Oil is peaking at $70 as we speak.
Oil cannot gain much higher than this level due to the switch to alternative technologies once this threshold is reached.
Furthermore, the oil price has been driven to its current fake position merely by China building up reserves rather than it being some indicator of global economic well-being.

As the price falls and the Depression deepens, ADU are not going to be too bothered about this Mancunian sporting irrelevance, and Manchester City are hardly likely to attract a queue of institutional investors as other clubs are already on the market (Portsmouth, West Ham, Newcastle, Valencia) and more clubs will soon become available that are much more tempting than the self-harming Eastlanders.

"What Is The Robbing Of A Bank Compared To The Founding Of A New Bank?"

We think that Brecht still deserves an answer to his question...

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© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological

Saturday 13 June 2009

Australian, Traumatised By "Gay" Name, Seeks Revenge On The Rest Of The World, But Is He To Be Undermined By Impotence?

It's yet another four-all draw...

Both Rupert Murdoch and Leonard Blavatnik are worth $4.0 billion.

The match that will determine the future of world football is on the verge of becoming a Reality.

Can Setanta be saved by Blavatnik?

Is the Murdochracy on the wain?

Following our recent disclosure that BSkyB, the Premier League and the Asian Football Confederation (AFC) are working closely together, will the Premier League support the Murdochratic monopoly or seek to preserve a duopoly in English Premier League television coverage?

What will all this mean regarding control of the nascent Super League?

Is Richard Scudamore truly a spectral emanation from the grave?

All those questions (and more) will be answered in this post...

As Setanta has been falling into its constituent parts - two private equity houses, a small stake for Goldman Sachs and a whole bunch of minority shareholders - it is one of the 'minnows' that has stepped in to potentially save the broadcaster.

Leonard Blavatnik, Len to his mates, is a Russian-American who resides in Britain, where he is the 6th richest person.
He is as well off as Rupert and, additionally, much more choosy about how near the bottom of the barrel he sinks in order to service his good fortune.
Oil, chemicals and aluminium have been the basis of this fortune.
Proof that Blavatnik is less of a bottom feeder comes from his range of academic appointments at Cambridge, Harvard and Tel Aviv Universities.

Furthermore, being on the board of directors of the Eurasia Group is an excellent, if slightly dodgy, location to monitor global and systemic trends.

Blavatnik is guaranteeing the future of Setanta by producing the required bridging loan while a more concrete deal is determined at the table.

In a normal league, this potential takeover would be seen as a positive sign of the health of the brand.
Why is this advancement not perceived in this way in the corridors of Richard Scudamore's mind, otherwise known as Premier League headquarters?

To answer this question, we first must check if you know your history.

BSkyB outbid Setanta for the 2010-13 Premier League rights winning five out of the six packages on offer, with such auctioned victory guaranteeing the Murdochracy all of the major encounters while Setanta was left to procrastinate on Rory Delap's throw-in and yet another Michael Owen-based underperformance from Newcastle.
At the same time, the Murdochracy was establishing a similarly abusive template in Italy and Germany - both Serie A and the Bundesliga are about to have the integrity of their leagues destroyed forever, in return for oodles of Diplock Gold.
Furthermore, the unholy trinity of Scudamore, the Murdochracy and Mohammed Bin Hammam worked together on the latter's reappointment as president of the AFC.

As you might remember, the campaign was marked by the viciousness of the underhand tactics piloted by our triumvirate.
Bin Hammam was labelled "a dictator" for his part in such shenanigans after he falsely released information to FIFA that his opponent was buying votes when, in fact, this proved to be a simple coincidence of opposites in that it was Bin Hammam who was undertaking the buying of ballots all along (think of his gyrations over the critical Malaysian vote).
Sepp Blatter was so concerned about such irregularities that he took along a Swiss notary when he attended the announcement of the re-election of ScudamoreWorld's man.

As Chung Mong-Joon, a vice-president of FIFA, stated at the time: "... he is now acting like the head of a very uncivilised organisation... It looks like Mr Hammam is suffering from mental problems. I want to advise him to consider going to hospital... Asian football is now suffering from a serious lack of transparency, democracy and rule of law."
That would be the impact of the tentacles of ScudamoreWorld then.

Anyway, back to the plot proper...
One week back, the ruiners of our sport were indeed sitting on a comfortably monopolistic nest - control of three of the major European leagues and the Asian Champions League, with the demise of Setanta ensuring omnipotent control for the Murdochracy in 2012 when, suitably, the Premier League rules allow for one broadcaster to have exclusive rights to Premier League matches.
Once Spain is bought out, the Murdochracy would represent a very hyperreal threat to both FIFA and UEFA and the latter's plans for a European Super League.
Indeed, the next phase had already been implemented with the Premier League having given "free-to-air" rights for Premier League matches in India, Brazil and Africa - merchandise, tours, spin-offs, the 39th Step, that sort of free market thing...

How neat and tidy do you wish for your psychopathy to be?

Before Blavatnik appeared on the scene, there was a very revealing development in this scandal.
Quoting the Financial Times: "This [the apparent collapse of Setanta] is obviously a material change: the market is clearly failing. We think this makes it obvious that Ofcom should call in the Competition Commission and do it quickly."
In response, BSkyB argued that it does not have undue market power in pay-tv and the Murdochracy rejected the need for intervention.
As, in 2012, BSkyB would be marketing ALL six Premier League packages, Rupert's nose grew markedly longer following this statement.
BSkyB consequently refused Setanta a £50 million cash advance against an agreement to screen 46 Premier League games, an act that had seemed to push both Setanta and several Scottish Premier League teams over the brink.

Then Len appeared on the stage...

But, in the immediate term, the Premier League, and hence the Murdochracy, hold the aces.
In order to put a complicated deal together for the takeover of Setanta, Blavatnik's team require time for due diligence etc.
Consequently, the money to save Setanta will not be in place by tomorrow (Monday) morning. This allows ScudamoreWorld to pull the plug on Setanta despite salvation being just around the corner.
What will Richard and Rupert do?

One might hope that they allow time for the commercial process to unveil.
Exactly as they are doing at Portsmouth FC, in fact.

As a related aside, we bring you up to date with the nonsense at Pompey.
Apparently, it was Sir Richards of the Premier League who introduced Thaksin Shinawatra to Peter Storrie, the Portsmouth executive chairperson.
Once the story broke in the tabloids (after we were already on the case, incidentally), Sir Richards adjusted his and our neorealities with a sneaky: "At this stage, the Premier League don't know whether he [the smiling assasin] is involved."
A ScudamoreWorld DoubleReality.

The Premier League then gave us one of its weirdo wordings to explain the situation to the annoyances who monitor the murky workings of power: "The previous owners of Manchester City and their associates are well known to the owners and executives of Portsmouth FC from their time in the Premier League."
And from meetings regarding the takeover of Portsmouth too.

The point is that the Premier League are willing to contort themselves into all manner of unethical gyrations to service the power of the Pompey entity, but are they willing to be equivalently accommodating with Setanta?

A City analyst states: "The Premier League believes football is like crack cocaine. They are wrong."
And, he is correct.

If Setanta survive, and with equality of financial power, the Murdochratic takeover of our great sport will be severely compromised.
Given their historical tendency to destabilise anything that they do not directly control, football would truly be on the rocks.

Crack cocaine, on the rocks... geddit?
This is actually a very funny joke and we wish for you to stop for a proprietary snigger at this point...
We thank you.

Premier League football has morphed into Žižek's chocolate laxative model.
To recap.

A firm in the US has launched a chocolate bar that cures constipation, even though the constipation itself was originally caused by the consumption of chocolate.
So it is in ScudamoreWorld.

© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological

Wednesday 10 June 2009

A Particularly Spicy Onion Soup #

Man With Misshapen Head Ruins The Country But Remains In Power, Almost By Complete Chance He Saves The Football Association From Doing Their Job Properly

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Daft Fucker Goes Skew-Whiff

"You just look and you just know" - cuddly neo-fascist, Nick Griffin, explains how a British National Party (BNP) member might recognise somebody who is not British.

By a strange coincidence of opposites, this is exactly how one might spot a neo-fascist too.

And, anyway, all white English are French!

Serial Underachievers Worrying About Their Performance-Related Pay Need No Longer Worry As The Public Is Looking The Other Way

Football mimics Finance.
That has been the basis of this blog since Day Zero.

Inappropriate performance-related pay structures created the matrices for psychopathic financiers to game the poker table for their proprietary advantage.
The correlation between performance and pay was, at best, random and, at worst, inverse.

In ScudamoreWorld 08/09 Brand, several directors need to provide some answers to their supporters.

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Election Of Two Fascist MEPs Sparks Waves Of Calm, Rational Discussion

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Crime Too High Says Chief Con

The World Bank reckons that between 200 and 400 million children will die globally each year due to the impact of this Depression. Their economists also project that these deaths will continue to occur until 2015.

So, over two million children will die at the hands of our murdering bankers.

Blame the immigrants then...
I mean, what is it that these people are running from?

* All posts labelled # are only available fully by subscription.

© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological

Friday 5 June 2009

Spring Onions On A Summer Salad Day #

"The Problem With Hitler Was That He Was Not Violent Enough"

Slavoj Žižek continues: "Nazism was not radical enough, it did not dare to disturb the basic structure of the modern capitalist social space (which is why it had to focus on destroying an invented enemy, Jews)... Hitler did not "have the courage" to really change things; he did not really act, all his actions were fundamentally reactions, that is he acted so that nothing would really change, he staged a great spectacle of Revolution so that the capitalist order could survive."

And such spectacular Revolutions would include the recent pseudo-uprisings of capitalism - orange, cedar, rose, velvet etc - "... in which violence is deprived of the "divine" dimension and thus reduced to a strategic intervention serving precise and limited goals."

Žižek represents one of the different Real Revolutions currently on the table. His "In Defense of Lost Causes" may be offset by an In Defence of Causes that were Never Given a Chance in the First Place.

Robespierre: "If the mainspring of popular government in peacetime is virtue, amid revolution it is, at the same time, virtue and terror: virtue, without which terror is fatal, terror, without which virtue is impotent."

Alain Badiou: "What do those who want neither Virtue nor Terror want?... They want corruption."

There's an App for that...

Portsmouth FC To Change Name To Pini Pairoj Ponzi Pattaya Hydra FC, Scudamore Stays Silent

Richard Scudamore recently slithered: "Fans should know who owns their club."

Of course, Mr Scudamore is lucky to still be in his post at the Premier League Ignorarium, so he is.

Nicely hidden outside of the season proper, the shenanigans continue at Portsmouth.
The Real owner Arkadi Gaydamak is not a fit-and-proper person and he should not be allowed to currently own the club. Despite all the proof in the Israeli media, Our Great Leader remained aloof from this hyperreality of his own making.

Last week a meeting took place regarding the selling of Pompey to another group of individuals of various hues of unfit-and-improper personry.
The meeting was attended by third party agreement specialist and super agent, Pini Zahavi.
Also at the table was Pairoj Piempongsant, who happens to be Thaksin Shinawatra's right hand man and senior adviser.
The potential new owner, Sulaiman Al Fahim, was also involved in the takeover of Manchester City by Abu Dhabi United, but there is an even more disturbing side to the man.
His company, Hydra Properties, is, to all intents and purposes, a Ponzi scheme. For full details of the financial chicanery, you need to check out the several hundred people who have put together a Facebook site targeting the shoddy business practices of Al Fahim.

It is reasonably difficult to get more organisationally dodgy than this - an unfit-and-improper person who ran the club illegally, is in the process of selling the club to two other unfit-and-improper persons, one of whom already has an honorary position at Man City, against the League rules in that such things matter at all, utilising an agent who is directly involved in all the illegal third party stuff that continues to slosh around the feet of Our Great Leader.

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Al Fahim was asked if he had had any contact from Scudamore over the takeover, he replied not.

In safe hands...
He is definitely worth his £1.3 million per year (above the table) is Mr Scudamore.

Bookmakers Admit That Gambling Is Simply An Issue Of Voluntary Taxation

British bookmakers are still refusing to payout on the Conference matches between Weymouth and Rushden and Diamonds (which ended 0-9) and the end of season 'agreed result' between Grays Athletic and Forest Green.
Why?
Because they claim that they were not privy to the inside information prior to the matches occurring.

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Are they similarly refusing to accept their own winnings from mug punters on these events where it is the bookmaker that possesses absolute market knowledge and control?
And at much greater liquidity...

And who is it that is looking at the betting patterns on OUR behalf?
The Premier League, the government, the FA and the media circus have no desire to disclose the rampant corruption in the Premier League and the FA Cup as it will both dampen the brands and stop these very representatives from dipping their fingers into the flow of fake money on a fake sport.

Green Shoots Of Recovery Spotted On Brownfield Site

Having spoken with friends at two different firms of architects, one would have to severely question those who are suggesting that the worst of the British housing crisis is over.
Both contacts say that the situation has NEVER been this bad and that both commercial and domestic work has completely dried up.

Meanwhile, the systemic disguise of the state of the banks continues unabated. No data is organisation-specific, so it is impossible to truly determine the health of the banks as they have closed up together in a repository of cartelised marketeering of economic well-being.

Which, of course, is utter tish!

A few things worthy of consideration while we reside in this capitalist scheme to redefine the meaning of words...

* The Economist, having laid the blame for the Irrational Protuberance at the door of creative accounting, continues: "The argument that shares are dirt cheap is starting to look threadbare."
* On the day of the biggest industrial bankruptcy in history, the S&P500 gained 2.58% - this is grave-faced crazy trading.
* Only 4.5% of institutional investors believe that the Irrational Protuberance is Real, whereas fully 60% believe we are simply watching a dead cat bouncing.
* Standard and Poor's outlook for British debt has moved from stable to negative and it is rumoured that only Fed pressure is preventing a similar adjustment for the US.
* John Taylor of Stanford University reckons that the American government "is now the most serious source of systemic risk."
* And, most disturbingly of all, in that the ONLY positive data is based on Chinese official figures, two recent studies raise serious questions about the credibility of China's corporate earnings. Chinese companies have received an artificial boost in the form of subsidised financing by the state banks. Those taking advantage of the allegedly lower price/earnings ratios are on the wrong side of the threshold between idiocy and sense.

Having Contracted An Unemployed Deity, A Mad Fat Man, A London Mafiosi And A Media Messiah, Minimum Wage Tsar Seen Hovering Around Oil Installations Seeking Sugar Sheikh

Mike Ashley in the Middle East.
Now where are those suicide bombers when they are Really needed?

A Babbling Brook Of Bullshit

In 2004, the Power Inquiry was established to address the patent lack of democracy in Britain.
Helena Kennedy QC reported in 2006 that it was “vital to re-engage the British people with formal democracy” if the following were to be avoided:

 the weakening of the mandate and legitimacy for elected governments – whichever party is in power – because of plummeting turnout
 the further weakening of political equality because whole sections of the community feel estranged from politics
 the weakening of effective dialogue between governed and governors
 the weakening of effective recruitment into politics
 the rise of undemocratic political forces
 the rise of a “quiet authoritarianism” within government.

Bringing us up to speed on our deep state-based oligopoly, John Pilger enlightens us thus: "The theft of public money by members of parliament, including government ministers, has given Britons a rare glimpse inside the tent of power and privilege. It is rare because not one political reporter or commentator, those who fill tombstones of column inches and dominate broadcast journalism, revealed a shred of this scandal. It was left to a public relations man to sell the "leak". Why?

"...Since Margaret Thatcher, British parliamentary democracy has been progressively destroyed as the two main parties have converged into a single-ideology business state, each with almost identical social, economic and foreign policies. This "project" was completed by Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, inspired by the political monoculture of the United States. That so many Labour and Tory politicians are now revealed as personally crooked is no more than a metaphor for the anti-democratic system they have forged together."

Ah! Our state-based economic systems...
A great vaulted agglomeration of tossers...

As The Economist kindly shares with us: "On the whole, Wall Street sees a welcome disconnect between the Obama administration's rhetoric and its actions."

Or how about Alan Nairn: "Obama could stop backing foreign forces that torture, but he has chosen not to do so." Obama did not shut down the practice of torture but has "merely repositioned it".

Ah! Our terroristic corporatist states...

Willie McKay Spotted Above Ground With A Suitcase Of Bungs

The City of London police have been busy this week.
Harry Redknapp was called in to answer further questions over the bungs affair and money laundering and all.
Meanwhile, the police dropped all charges against Willie McKay and, to boot, managed to avoid putting seven bullets into the man's head while doing so.
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Below is a verbatim recording of a conversation I thoroughly enjoyed with John Colquhoun, an agent with Key Sports.

"We were drinking vodka all night. We'd each get a glass and the waiter would take the remainder away. When we wanted another drink, a new bottle was brought. The bill at the end of the night was £1500. In the morning, he [McKay] wanted to get down to business. He produced a suitcase and said it contained £40,000 and that we [John and his colleague, Colin Gordon] could have the suitcase, no questions asked, if we were willing to drop our interest in ############## (a Spanish defender) who was interesting #########. We declined his offer, but for different reasons..."

That sounds like a bung to me.

Colquhoun finished this 'proof' of his upright nature by declaring "you only need to shag one sheep to be a sheepshagger."

One must assume that the woollyback temptation evolves with the passage of time...

Scrappage Scheme Introduced For Premier League Players

If you produce your crappy lower level sportsmen at the Premier League offices before June 30th, you will receive £2,000 per week to cover the wages of a replacement for such players, so long as they have been with your club for at least a decade.
Being the Premier League, of course, this guarantee only exists for those individuals secured by third party agreements or those who were originally purchased using illicit bungs.
As these two sieve-like provisos allow through most Premier League players, Our Great Leader does not envisage any problems.

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© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological

Monday 1 June 2009

Britain's Got Bookmakers

I've only ever consumed seven minutes of Britain's Got Talent - it was instantly obvious which psychological buttons Mr Cowell enjoyed antisocially pressing.

And they lap it up.
19.2 million people for the Final on Saturday.

The pre-Final coverage was blanket.
The betting markets were top-heavy with punters betting on Susan Boyle to win.

So, we can't have that happening then.

The rumours that are bouncing around the trading rooms are unanimous in their assessment of the shenanigans at play, but cannot, for evident reasons, be printed in this place.

In today's climate, we all totally accept that this racist little island voted for a multicultural street dance troop in the competition, despite the societal advance of the odious UKIP and BNP hate brands and the massive media campaign to support Ms Boyle.

There is no mainstream media analysis of why Ms Boyle now finds herself in the Priory this morning, having been escorted there after losing the plot somewhat following the outcome in the Final.
The organisers tell us that it is the euphemistic "exhaustion" that is the problem.

Simon Cowell deserves a happy slapping at minimum, and there are grounds for justifiable homicide here.

Britain's Got Talent gives you Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
A phantasmagoric fantasy with a fake result and a nervous breakdown.

The mainstream media befuddles.

2009 = 1819.

Which is as neat a cue as one can produce to print Percy Bysshe Shelley and 1819.

An old, mad, blind, despised, and dying king,--
Princes, the dregs of their dull race, who flow
Through public scorn, mud from a muddy spring,--
Rulers who neither see, nor feel, nor know,
But leech-like to their fainting country cling,
Till they drop, blind in blood, without a blow,--
A people starved and stabbed in the untilled field,--
An army which liberticide and prey
Makes as a two-edged sword to all who wield,--
Golden and sanguine laws which tempt and slay;
Religion Christless, Godless, a book sealed,--
A Senate--Time's worst statute unrepealed,--
Are graves from which a glorious Phantom may
Burst to illumine our tempestuous day.

Sound familiar?

Would Ant and Dec consider entering parliament?
Cowell for Minister of Justice is no more ridiculous than the same sentence with Jack Straw included instead.
Esther Rantzen for the Home Office.

Britain Has Got Talent.
It Is Celebrity Talent - Hypertalent.
Let the fake take over the fake.
Less Real?
More Real?
Or so far from Reality that the very use of the word "Real" is Surreal.

To live in the English media, today, is to live in a very strange place indeed - psychopathy in spades but a complete absence of any talent other than the hyper variety.

The signposts of post-imperial decline - a rotten system, faked up by a rancid press.

© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological