Monday 29 November 2010

A Dollop Of Dallas And A Bigoted Biologist

Ah so Richard Dawkins has finally exposed his true colours - 'tis an anti-Catholic stance that the privileged one reveals as opposed to an anti-religious one.

Either that or he should keep away from aspects of reality beyond his biological base.

Dawkins wrote on his website: "Hugh Dallas, head of referee development for the Scottish Football Association, has been sacked because he passed on, by email, a joke about the Pope.

"His dismissal was called for by a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland. This nasty little weasel is called Peter Kearney, Director of the Scottish Catholic Media Office.

"Similarly, the chief executive of the Scottish Football Association, responsible for this craven giving-in to Catholic censorship is Stewart Regan. The address of this coward is Scottish Football Association, Hampden Park, Glasgow."

Is our leading scientist (sic) calling for revenge against Kearney and Regan?
And why is religious bigotry and corruption on the Protestant side so neatly sidestepped by a man who claims holistic oversight?

Dawkins continues: "There is no reason to suppose that Dallas was being sectarian in forwarding the joke. Most plausibly he was as revolted as all decent people are by the Pope’s illegal protection of Catholic child-rapists."

Dallas?
Not sectarian??
How humourous is a don able to be???

Yet, on one level, he is surely correct.
It is outrageous that Hugh Dallas was sacked for merely making anti-Papist jests when, both throughout his refereeing and administrative careers, he has exhibited bias, undertaken corrupt activities and manipulated Scottish football for his Hun paymasters.

The other key aspect of this affair was, yet again, brought to our attention by Gerry Coogan.
His full epistle is given below but the reality would appear to be that the SPL, like the English Premier League, utilises television replays to enable the match officials to 'select' the 'correct' decisions to review to the proprietary benefit of bookmakers and the powers that be.

So video technology is neither open source nor to the benefit of a true outcome but merely an illegally used tool for proprietary advantage/manipulation/corruption.

Perhaps if his head wasn't so far up his own narcissistic backside, Dawkins might wish to consider this truth.

Anyway, time for the Man At The Window to update you (this was written two days ago and some information might no longer be valid).

"Dallas's sacking is such a significant development that I suppose it was inevitable that even the press would eventually find out.

"I yet haven't seen any of this weekend's MSM propaganda but I know that Dallas's business partner, Dougie McDonald, has also become yesterday's man, albeit six weeks too late to save the establishment from melt-down. Dallas and McDonald are business partners in a Spanish property venture. (Would you buy a second-hand villa from these men, Jose?)
There was no conflict of interest there, then, when Dallas was deciding whether to recommend to the referees' panel that the Category One Liar ought to be sacked. Not that there would have been much chance of the hearing giving DougieDougie a P45. It's not called the Referees Panel for nothing - all of its members, to a man, are either serving referees themselves or retired whistlers.

"But there remain unanswered questions over the Tannadice incident which lit the blue touchpaper. It is still not understood why McDonald changed his mind about awarding Celtic a penalty nor is it clear why he should have felt the need to lie about the process of reassessing his original decision. Neither his first version nor the subsequent amended version makes sense.

"There is a growing conviction amongst Celtic supporters that the real villain of the piece remains undetected.

"We are speaking here of John McKendrick, the fourth official on that day, who was watching the live TV broadcast on a monitor in front of him during the match. Hoops followers are of the opinion that McKendrick, rather than Stephen Craven, was the one who fed McDonald with an excuse to reverse the penalty award.

"If FIFA were aware that Category A match officials were making illegal use of video replays during the match, there would of course be terrifying repercussions for the Caledonian goat-bothering Brotherhood.

"Nevertheless, it is the only explanation of the events which makes sense of the observed facts. Craven had immediately taken his position at the edge of the six-yard box when McDonald awarded the penalty, showing that he had no concerns over the validity of the award. He did not subsequently raise his flag while the Dundee United players surrounded the referee with protests. Immediately after the TV broadcast had shown a replay, live pictures showed an alarmed expression sweep across the whistler's boat race, almost as if he had heard something in his earpiece, then after a few moments of indecision, he turned towards the bye-line and spoke to the Assistant Referee.
Play then resumed with a dropped ball; meanwhile, the TV captured a memorable image of Stephen Craven looking totally bewildered and very displeased indeed.

"It should be noted here that the former Head of Refereeing Development had assembled a group of match officials who had advanced to the top of the national game by realising that Dallas was wont to give low scores to referees who "incorrectly" gave big decisions TO Celtic but was unlikely to punish errors that went AGAINST the paranoid Tims. Thus, an ambitious whistler doesn't need to be a bigot himself in order to practice a pro-Rangers, anti-Celtic agenda; he merely needs to do what ever is necessary to score the highest assessment marks. Knowing that Dallas had the final say on these scores makes it easier for the objective observer to understand why referees are less likely to give Celtic the benefit of the doubt.

"Last Thursday, John McKendrick miraculously just happened to walk through the door of a BBC Radio Scotland studio at the precise moment when the volunteer Hun propagandist, Chick Young, was regaling the head of the Israeli referees - in a live broadcast! - with an imaginative account of why the SFA required the services of foreign officials. McKendrick eagerly took over and spun the story into an even more fanciful dimension, displaying the faultless integrity for which Scottish referees are now recognised, in a heroic effort to ensure that the SFA's best efforts to save the fixture list would be sabotaged from within the football establishment.

"McKendrick undoubtedly has a higher motivation than most to ensure that the facts of the matter at Tannadice do not emerge from the fog of deceit and misdirection, a fog that could not have persisted without unstinting, whole-hearted help and support from the charlatans in the Scottish media. Huns with laptops."

Hail Hail!!

© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological

Friday 26 November 2010

Even Our Opponents Are On Our Side On This One

Now where would we all be without Gerry Coogan?

In a less enlightened and creative place, that's where...

Two emails blogged out about Dr Death versus The Hun...

The End Of Dallas #1

It gets better with each passing hour.

Paul Brennan at Celtic Quick News has been sitting on this one for a few days and has obviously been given the green light by Reid to go public with it now.
Reid, apparently, has proof that Dallas has been in the habit of doctoring the Referee Observer's match report.
The bold Shug can order "amendments" to the original report so that he can mark up officials who have given "strong" decisions against Celtic or alternatively downgrade their scores if the Hoops have been given the benefit of too many decisions.
The reverse process applies to the Huns.
Natch.

A couple of weeks ago there was a private meeting between Stewart Regan (the new SFA chief executive) and Reid and Lawwell after which the Celtic board effectively called for the Hoops faithful to place their confidence in Regan in his battle to sort out the SFA.
Personally, I suspect that Regan himself is the source of the leaks that are appearing in various trusted Celtic websites and forums.
e.g. the Dallas email, these dodgy dossiers of match reports and even an eye-witness account of the confrontation between Regan and Dallas (as reported in Phil's blog.)

The Match Report documents, if Reid really has them, will bring the entire edifice crashing down. And even if he doesn't have them, he can still call the bluff of Dallas, George Peat and the whole, rotten, hopelessly compromised SFA gang.

It's thought that Graham Speirs, (who plays the mythical "Good Hun" in Scottish journalistic fable) also has certain knowledge of some of these documents - perhaps a test organised by Reid? - but is being prevented from publishing them by m'learned friends.

Scottish mainstream media has gone right off the chart in its biased and hysterical coverage of DallasGate. There has been at least one "top" referee or ex-ref on every BBC Radio Scotland discussion programme that I've heard this week. Last night we even had the unedifying sound of John McKendrick (the 4th official at the Dundee Utd-Celtic game that started the ball rolling) trying to convince the head of the Israeli refereeing department to break the agreement that they had just made to send over some spare officials to cover the Scottish fixtures. Live on air!
A new low point in the history of the BBC.
No surprise to learn today that three teams of Polish officials had suddenly pulled out.

I suspect that BBC London has been inundated with protests.
On the Tic websites, I've seen dozens of posts from Hoops members, reproducing their letters of complaint.
Few Celtic supporters are daft enough to waste time complaining to BBC Scotland; all the objections are calling upon London to straighten out its rogue fiefdom.
The chief broadcasting villains on the Beeb have been the loathsome "St. Mirren supporter" Chick Young, boorish thug James Traynor and the execrable Kenny McIntyre. Dishonourable mentions in the rags go to Bill Leckie, Tom Ireland, Roger Baillie and Keith "Union" Jackson.
Sad, sad, bigots, the lot of them.

But they are still utterly fucked. They are the Scottish football equivalent of Hitler rolling on the floor of the Berlin bunker while foaming at the mouth.
Dead huns walking.
And shouting defiantly.
"The cry was 'No Surrender'..."

Not yet openly published is the next stage in the final redemption of the Tribe of Tim-Paranoia.
############ Q.C. is thought to be drawing up the paperwork, even as we speak, to launch the first of many actions against the Foe Malign.
####### is not only a top brief but also a dyed-in-the-wool Tim.

I have a very strong feeling that the various football teams of the Scottish Prison Service may soon be spoilt for choice when it comes to looking for experienced referees to take charge of their kick-abouts.

The buzz amongst the Celtic support is huge now.
Dr Death is still a bastard but, right now, he's OUR bastard.
Our very own vicious, dirty, Fenian bastard up against every dirty, cheating, Orange bastard in the Scottish football establishment.
There can only be one winner here.
Even those who detest the man are pretty unanimous that if there's one guy you'd like to nominate to keep a firm, terrier-like grip of your enemies' gonads, it would be the Baron Cardowan.

Prior to the AGM, the word was that he was ready to step down from the chair, making way for Ian Bankier.
When Assistant Referee Stephen Craven resigned, prompting DougieDougieGate, Reid instantly smelt blood.
He basically said, "Everybody oot o' my road! This is MY gig!"

And even I can't deny that he's handled it perfectly so far.

"I'd rather he was inside the tent, pissing out, than outside the tent, pissing in," as LBJ said.

Hail, Hail!

The End Of Dallas #2

It's strangely quiet on the official news front today. Yesterday, Regan had the disciplinary hearings for the email transgressors, finishing with Dallas. There were seven or eight others who forwarded the email from SFA addresses. I'm hearing that all of them were fired. No certain confirmation; it just came from a friend whose friend works at Hampden and that's what he'd been told.

That's quite significant, given that the thinking in advance of the hearings was that if so much as one of the underlings was binned, Dallas was a certainty for the sack. It's possible that he has indeed been told to go away and come back a few days later with his resignation. It's an odd way to do it though.

McDonald looks as if he's dodging justice for the moment. Having already been dealt with by the referee's committee for his lies, it is being said that there is no way to go back on that decision under the SFA's rules and regulations. That's very awkward for Regan. He had already recommended a sacking in the first instance but the ref's panel ignored him. In the second instance, McDonald's dismissal was the first issue that Reid chose to go on the offensive about (after the "private pact" with Regan and Lawwell) and I imagine the Celtic board expected Regan to deliver. There are no signs though that Celtic have lost any confidence in Regan - if anything, the relationship has probably become stronger as Regan continues to discover for himself that the SFA is just as twisted and corrupt as the Celtic directors would have undoubtedly told him.

Significantly though, Celtic's first preference was not for reform of the SFA and its refereeing department but rather for a totally independent inquiry. I have a suspicion that Celtic, with the benefit of decades of frustrating experience, allowed Regan to try it his way first from the inside. But Celtic always expected that the beast can only be slain from the outside and have mostly been accumulating the evidence for ####### to put together.

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Hope For Humans

There are better ways to resolve conflicts than killing strangers.
Yet one should not consider walking around Glasgow wearing a White Poppy...

Of course Death has a consumerist role to play and BSkyB were good enough to make this point as explicitly as possible: "Sky, Standing Shoulder to Shoulder with Those Who Serve... (Murdoch, one assumes)".
Yet Sky was still able to delay the minute of silence to fit in with their advertising schedule (primetime, boys and girls) - Death should not get in the way of consumerism...

But why oh why oh why is it not okay to protest against the Celtic shirt being emblazoned with a Red Poppy, when it is okay for the club to sanction the wearing of the said Poppy?
Who, in the right mind, is going to think that it is valid to celebrate the killing of one's ancestors with a minute of silence?
The wearing of the Red Poppy is not a neutral position.
It is an aggressive statement, so it is...

So Celtic fans, in opposition to The Branded Entity that was once their club, displayed a banner using words from "James Connolly" in protest.
"Your deeds would shame all the devils in hell - Ireland, Iraq, Afghanistan - No Bloodstained Poppy On Our Hoops".

The Branded Entity committed to banning the culprits "with immediate effect" as soon as they were identified.

Meanwhile Hugh Dallas clings by his claws to his role as SFA Head of Referees after a window where he has been shown in public to be what everybody knew he was all the way along - a lying, cheating, bigoted, offensive little man who will, if his claws lose their grasp, no doubt be shuffled off to an executive role at Guernica Rangers for services rendered.

On Wednesday the Catholic Church called for the SFA to sack Dallas if it was proved he passed on a "tasteless message" relating to the Pope's visit to Scotland in September.

Gerry Coogan prompted me in the direction of Phil Mac Giolla Bhain's website (http://www.philmacgiollabhain.com/hugh-dallas-offered-to-call-off-strike-if-his-case-dropped/) where the following was blogged:

"Hugh Dallas offered to call off strike if his case dropped!"

By: Phil Mac Giolla Bhain

Exclusive.

"Hugh Dallas and Stewart Regan had a blazing row on Monday at the SFA headquarters in Glasgow.
Hugh Dallas offered to call off the referees strike if his disciplinary hearing into the Pope email was called off.
On hearing this ultimatum an SFA insider said:
“Regan went ballistic!”
Regan’s exact words, overheard by many in the office were:
“How effing dare you! Don’t ever raise that again! Those two matters are totally unrelated!”
Hugh Dallas will hear his fate at 17.00hrs today in Glasgow.
In total eight people will be the subject of disciplinary hearings today.
I have learned that the Scottish Football Association has a very clear IT policy.
The passing on this email is clearly considered by Mr.Regan to be a “breach of the organisation’s IT policy.”
In recent weeks several staff were reminded of this policy of forwarding on offensive emails.
It was established inside the SFA that receiving such an email and opening it was no offence.
However forwarding it on would be considered an offence punishable from anything from a reprimand to dismissal.
I have also learned that if any of the other seven staff are dismissed for passing on this email then Mr.Dallas will also be dismissed."

Looks like a "with immediate effect" situation from where I stand!

Anyway, where was I?

Ah yes, the Poppy...
Imperial ventures...
The Busby at Chelsea...
Extraordinary Rendition...
The EDF squaring up to the Muslims Against Crusades...
The killing of David Kelly...
Blair peddling "Peace"...
The memoir-legitimisation of waterboarding...

Why not have splattered Iraqi children on the pitch at Stamford Bridge instead?

The repeated slaughter of the Working Class and the Disenfranchised of this and every other country is a tragedy.

There are better ways to resolve conflicts than killing strangers.

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Monday 8 November 2010

The 101 People Most Responsible For The Demise Of British Football

Inspired by Matthew Norman's "The 101 Most Infuriating Things in Sport", we have put together a blacklist of those most responsible for the conversion of football from a sport to ######################################################################.

As some individuals cannot be mentioned for a variety of reasons, the listing is only 80% complete.
We suggest putting in your own favourites in the #### gaps.

From the top, 2, 3, 4...

1. #######################################
2. Dave Richards
3. Richard Scudamore
4. #################################
5. Harry Redknapp
6. Andy Gray
7. Willie McKay
8. Keith Hackett
9. Mike Dean
10. Hugh Dallas
11. ###############################
12. Rupert Murdoch
13. Roman Abramovich
14. Ken Bates
15. Michael Owen
16. Thaksin Shinawatra
17. Milan Mandaric
18. John Colquhoun
19. David Ridsdale
20. Garry Cook
21. The Glazers
22. Graham Poll
23. Victor Chandler
24. ############################
25. Mark Clattenburg
26. Martin Atkinson
27. Mike Riley
28. Howard Webb
29. David James
30. Hicks and Gillet
31. Sir Ferguson
32. Richard Keys
33. Mike Ashley
34. Peter Pannu
35. ####################################
36. Sullivan and Gold
37. Bruce Grobbelaar
38. Dermot Gallacher
39. Paul Stretford
40. Alan Hansen
41. Rafa Benitez
42. David Gill
43. Frank Lampard
44. Chris Kirkland
45. Jamie Redknapp
46. ######################
47. #######################################
48. Andre Marriner
49. Rio Ferdinand
50. Steve McClaren
51. Dimitar Berbatov
52. Jeff Stelling
53. Phil Brown
54. Dave Whelan
55. Sam Allardyce
56. John Terry
57. Alan Green
58. #####################################
59. The Gaydameks
60. Gary Lineker
61. Ian Wright
62. Peter Reid
63. David Platt
64. Patrick Barclay
65. Henry Winter
66. Benoit Assou-Ekotto
67. ##############################
68. Ecclestone/Briatore
69. Chris Kamara
70. #####################################
71. David Lacey
72. Roy Hodgson
73. Gary McAllister
74. Lee Dixon
75. ###############################
76. Niall Quinn
77. Sven Goran Eriksson
78. Martin Edwards
79. Mohammad Al Fayed
80. ############################
81. The Oyston Family
82. Ray Wilkins
83. Kevin Keegan
84. #################################
85. #############################
86. Matt Le Tissier
87. Mark Lawrensen
88. Didi Hamann
89. ##########################
90. Tony Cascarino
91. ###############################
92. ############################
93. Guillem Balague
94. Benny McCarthy
95. ###################################
96. Pascal Chimbonda
97. Thomas Sorensen
98. David Conn
99. Steven Gerrard
100. Jermain Defoe
101. Avram Grant

© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological. You may share using our article tools. Please don't cut articles from Football Is Fixed and redistribute by email or post to the web.

Sunday 7 November 2010

Dirty Old Town

"This is what it's like to be FC,
this is what it's like to be home,
this is what it's like when you don't sell your arse to a gnome,
your arse to a gnome, your arse to a gnome."

Sir Ferguson: "[FC United] are just publicity seekers."

"So come on cheer the boys, FC make some noise, we go wow wow wow, we go wow wow wow."

According to Sepp Blatter, the Sunday Times reporting of the FIFA votes scandal is "unethical".

"Under the boardwalk watching FCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Yeah,
They'll be no knobheads in jester hats or Sky TV,
Under the board walk we'll be watching FC,
Under the board walk we'll be watching FC."

"UEFA is taking action against the newspapers that leaked the information about voting collusion in the presentation of the Euro 2012 Finals to Poland/Ukraine."

"Two thousand and five, the month of May,
Malcolm Glazer drove us away,
There's too many debts that we won't pay,
And now we know there's another way.
FC United of Manchester,
We're FC United of Manchester,
We're FC United of Manchester,
We're FC United of Manchester."

Insider gambler Harry Redknapp threatens not to speak to the media if he is banned for his comments about Weave Clattenburg.

"Hoist up the John B sail,
Can't hear the Mainstand sing,
Call up the MRE,
We'll sing on our own.
Don't wanna go hoooome,
Don't wanna go hooooooome,
This is the best trip,
I've ever been on.
Der der der der
Sooo
Hoist up the John B sail,
Can't hear the Mainstand sing,
Call up the MRE,
We'll sing on our own.
Don't wanna go hoooome,
Don't wanna go hooooooome,
This is the best trip,
I've ever been on..."

The Guardian: "The senior Fifa official Danny Jordaan has admitted to clandestine collusion with competitors when he led South Africa's World Cup bid team, unsuccessfully persuading England to withdraw from the 2006 race by offering Nelson Mandela's support for 2010."

"They came for Man United's red,
And Wimbledon in blue,
And Wrexham and the Metrostars,
Telford, Salzburg too.
They think that they can buy the lot ,
But they can buy fuck all,
'Cos two things they can never own ,
Are us, and PUNK FOOTBALL!
Tra la la laaaaaa,
We all hate Franchise!"

The afternoon after FC United of Manchester battered the hillbillies of Rochdale, there were numerous blocks of empty seats at Old Trafford for the visit of Wolves.

"I am an FC fan,
I am a Mancunian,
I know what I want and I know how to get it,
I wanna destroy,
Glazer and Sky,
Cause I,
Wanna be,
At FCCC..."

The Guardian sent Jamie Jackson to cover Shakhtar Donetsk against Arsenal in the Champions League and he was so at the game that he thought Eduardo's first half goal actually occurred in the second half. Finger on the pulse...

"The man with no shame,
The man with no shame,
Rio Ferdinand,
The man with no shame."

Serie A football show no longer shows highlights of controversial decisions in case calcio punters put two and two together...

"When FC United go out to play na na, na na,
When FC United go out to play na na, na na,
When FC United go out to play it's 3 o'clock on a Saturday.
We don't work for SkySports anymore!"

Martin Tyler about John Henry's trophy wife: "She looks like a lovely lady."

"His name is Malcolm Glazer,
He thinks he's rather flash.
He tried to buy a football team,
But didn't have the cash.
He borrowed lots of money,
He made the fans distraught,
But we're FC United,
And we won't be fuckin' bought..."

Robert Fisk on the WikiLeaks: "Well I think there are several very important elements to this story.
First of all, the individual items like, you know, there are witnesses, American witnesses to torture, they didn't do anything, that the Iraqis - security authorities were torturing Iraqis, that American air strikes were killing many civilians.
We knew about this, but it was always denied by the Americans. I was doing stories years ago about Iraqis torturing Iraqis and the stories were coming from American officers who were leaking them to me.
But of course every time I wrote them in the paper, the Americans denied that it was true. I went to the scenes of US air strikes. They were obviously limbs, hands, arms of children, babies, women, civilians, as well sometimes as armed men, and we wrote about this.
What the WikiLeaks does is it proves beyond any doubt that what we reported was correct and that what we were told by the American authorities was mendacious, it was a lie.
Just remember, the Americans now are saying, "Shame upon WikiLeaks. It's endangering lives in Iraq." I mean, invading Iraq endangered an awful lot of lives, didn't it?
But, you know, if these leaks, if these 400,000 documents had confirmed that the Americans did stop torture, that they didn't kill civilians and air strikes, you know, US generals would be handing this stuff out free of charge to journalists on the front steps of the Pentagon."

"My eyes have seen the glory and my heart has felt the pain,
While Glazer's at Old Trafford I will never go again.
We've taken all the passion and we're singing at Gigg Lane,
As the reds go marching ON ON ON!
Glory glory FC United...etc
I am a Busby boy and that is all I'll ever be,
Until some greedy bastard took my club away from me,
We've taken all the passion and we're following FC,
As the reds go marching ON ON ON!"

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Tuesday 2 November 2010

A Christmas Story

More On The Dallas Dynasty

Yesterday morning, Hugh Dallas sought legal advice over the comments made in the Scottish media by Assistant Referee, Steven Craven.

Understanding the psyche of Dallas, if he had received a positive response from his barrister, he would surely have come down like a ton of bricks on the recently retired linesperson.
But he didn't.
He merely went for the impotent denial of harassment despite the alleged fact that an SFA employee was in the room throughout the phone conversation between Dallas and Craven.

The allegations of harassment, bullying and applying pressure on Craven to alter his view of reality remain at the feet of Dallas.

For the uninitiated, Dallas allegedly leant on Craven to "take the flak" instead of referee Dougie McDonald over the Celtic penalty-that-never-was (honestly) against the Tangerine Arabs.

Dallas: "Unfortunately, these allegations have given rise to the suggestion that I was involved in some sort of cover-up: nothing could be further from the truth."

Sue then, sir!

Dallas added: "I am dismayed and saddened that the reputation I have built up over 30 years in refereeing could be besmirched by such unfounded allegations."

And what reputation would that be, Hugh?

Inevitably the SFA offered Dallas "unequivocal support" which is as inevitable as anything ever could be north of Hadrian's Wall.

The SFA also described Hugh as "helpful and honest"...
...honestly, this is not intended as a joke.

Meanwhile, Dougie McDonald sought to set the record straight from a different angle...

McDonald told BBC Scotland: "There was no big cover-up. I was just trying to help out my colleague and protect him a little. It was a white lie in the heat of the moment. It was not a pre-meditated act.

"It was a mistake, I regret it hugely, but there's not a person on this earth who hasn't told a lie for what they think are the right reasons.

"I'm sure every adult in the country will tell their kids in a few weeks that a man in a red suit is going to come down their chimney.

"That's a lie but it's for the right reasons and that's what I thought I was doing. I regret it now."

Okidoke.
You heard it here first.
Scottish football isn't fixed because Santa Claus doesn't exist.
Only in Scotland could this logic exist.

Footie Is Fixed #1!

Okay, so...

Having been inundated with emails over the last two posts (detailing corruptions at the Celtic/Rangers clash and the Newcastle/Sunderland unclash), we are far too busy to reply to all the correspondence received.

We analyse the corruptions in the "sport" of football and trade that knowledge on the Asian markets.

Since the start of the season, we have achieved 95% winners on over 100 matches (excluding breakeven events) - an all-time high performance level from our team.

If footie wasn't fixed, how on earth would we be able to achieve such returns?

Perhaps it is all those conversations we have with Father Christmas that makes us so slick.
"And what would you like for xmas, son?"
"A dodgy penalty, an even dodgier sending off and, if West Brom are still likely to beat the Seasiders, could we possibly have another sending off as well?"
"Your wish is my command".

Footie Is Fixed #2

And, anyway, girls and boys.
If Footie wasn't Fixed, why would we have been offered a Consultancy contract by a Premier League team?
'Nuff said, for now.

© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological. You may share using our article tools. Please don't cut articles from Football Is Fixed and redistribute by email or post to the web.

Sunday 31 October 2010

Super Corrupt Sunday - The Rigging Of Newcastle United Versus Sunderland

From the start of this season, a certain grouping of match manipulators have been awaiting the North East derby between Newcastle and Sunderland.

Those involved in the scam included a leading football agent who is no stranger to these pages, certain match officials who are no strangers to these pages, club management, players and journalists from The Guardian newspaper.

And while the fake media story of the potential sacking of Chris Hughton was given copious column inches to engender mug punting in the wrong direction of outcome, the insider money was on a Newcastle win which, following an offside goal, a penalty, a sending off and six Sunderland bookings, was unsurprisingly landed.

Details of the scam are given below.
We are to send full copies of this post (without the ####) to certain bodies, like that is ever going to make any difference to anything...

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Thursday 21 October 2010

Sunday's Celtic V Rangers Game Is Fixed!

As we all wait patiently, indeed joyously, for the imminent smelting of the Iron Lady (my call would be for an auto da fé rather than anything approaching a dignified exit), one of her free market legacies is the corruption of our sporting world.

And we have the ultimate example of football moving from a game to a sport to an entertainment to an insider manipulation with the first Auld Firm game of the season next weekend.

Everything is being done to prevent Rangers losing this match.

The Hun, knackered from their enjoyably fruitless exertions in the highly manipulated Champions League Group C, need a twelfth, thirteenth, fourteenth man (as many as it takes) to prevent a proper football match from happening at Parkhead.

The referee is William "Billy Boy" Collum and he will be under the watchful gaze of his mentor, twisted fire starter Hugh Dallas.
Dallas never retired.
He simply reinvented himself via two prodigies, of whom "Billy Boy" is one.

At Aberdeen earlier this season, the Hun found themselves 2-0 down and rattled.
An instant penalty for a triple salchow reduced the deficit by the interval.
Dallas left the Directors Box.

At the start of the Second Half, Aberdeen returned to the pitch...
...and waited.

And waited and waited and waited...

Then the Rangers reappeared with Collum running out onto the pitch in their midst.
45 minutes later Rangers had won 3-2 against a ten man Aberdeen team.

Dallas was back in his Box and, though he looked proud, his arrogance was neither of the Scottish nor of the protestant kind, it was something else entirely.

And so to Parkhead...

"Billy Boy" and his masonic brethren (god save the fucking queen, indeed) are on one.

If you don't want to allow the rogues to be splashing around in Fenian blood, as is their wont, then this information should be spread far and wide in order to make the fix either impossible or publicly too obvious.

Tell your friends.
Tell your enemies.
Print out some leaflets and hand them out before the game.
Graffiti it on the walls next to "Up The Celts" and "Ooo Aah Up The 'RA".

As for myself, I intend to cycle naked around Glasgow on my Surly machine singing "Riding in the Nude and Feeling such a Dude, It's a Rip-Off" until I'm arrested and rearranged by their enforcers.

It is just like living in Bedlam, isn't it?

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Friday 6 August 2010

Desire Is A World Of Reality

Pseudo-Legendary Blog, Football Is Fixed, are enjoying a Post-Structural Proprietary Isolationism.

But what am I saying?
Are Football Is Fixed subscribers/readers to be held in the suspended animation of a selfish sabbatical?

'Tis so...

There will be some blog posts in this period but, due to the fact that Democracy is Terror, these will be restricted to addressing the psychopathic nightmare that is the Late Capitalism Casino.

Usmanov entering Football is simply not as critical as Uranium entering Fallujah.

What am I saying?
Is This Really Death Cab For Cutie?
Are we so obsessed with making a few swift bucks from our sabermetric nirvana and our trading oases that we treat the lumpenproletariat as peripheral fodder?

'Tis so...

Dietrological clients will still receive occasional advices.
So that's alright then.

But.

'Tis not in our interests for these pre-match and ante-post positions to be generally shared as such exposure would impact on our early season market advantage.

But.

We slither down from the dung-mound of the moral high ground and reposition ourselves as a mark for scorn to point its finger at.

The Football Is Fixed blog was to have completed its HyperReal Cycle as a source of football information and holistics with the progression from the original post three and a half years ago, "Manipulated Markets", and concluded with the fake optimism of "Feeling Glad All Over...".

And then it appears that the Real owner of the Mighty 'Pool is not cuddly Latvian Banking Oligarch Valeri Belokon, but mass-murdering Maxim Bakiyev, the son of the autocratic monstrosity that was Kurmanbek Bakiyev, the former president of Kyrgyzstan.
A tape recording exists of Maxim masterminding mass murder and the Kyrgyz wanted our man extradited from Latvia (where he hid) to stand charges.
With Interpol also after him, Maxim did what all international state terrorists do when in a spot of bother, they fly to Farnborough and seek asylum in the Anglian Asylum.

The links between Belokon, his Tangerine Suit, Blackpool FC and Bakiyev appear to be solid in the Soviet Constellation of States - Pravda, Russia Today and the state paper of Kyrgyzstan.
And in the words of Edil Baisalov, the former chief of staff for the interim Kyrgyz government: "It is important that the English courts realise that he is an international terrorist of the highest order. He has the resources and means to destroy the state of Kyrgyzstan. He is very dangerous and he has stolen millions of dollars from the people of Kyrgyzstan."

Just what is required on the Fylde Coast then...

The Oystons may wish to avert their gazes but the Busy Bees have only just paid up the bonuses promised to the players after the Play Off Final victory over Cardiff City.
Proper piss-taking of the proles.

And then there is Wonga.
The shirt sponsors for the new season are Wonga - a company who charge cripplingly high interest rates for short term loans to the impoverished.
Psycho-Shysters...
When Karl Oyston accepted the cheque from Wonga, where did he think that that money was sourced?

Meanwhile Wonga's PR machine gushes: "Everyone here is bouncing around with excitement and looking forward to the new footie season with even more excitement than usual."

Wonga's annual percentage rate on loans is 2,689%.
This is a protection racket.

And don't even get me started on the whereabouts of the first tranches of the £95 million resulting from the Rave at the Food Mall.
Five players released, all four key loan players have returned to their parent clubs, Southern and Clarke with medium/long term injuries, rumours of the arrival of one player (Dekel Keinan) are still to be confirmed; probably also getting free agent Marlon Harewood and Angel Rangel.
So just eight players weaker than last season and with none of the new 'signings' having yet played for the Seasiders with the start of the season just six days away.

But Karl Oyston has bought himself a spanking new Aston Martin.

Never trust a money man who resembles Harry Potter.
That's what I say...

But what am I saying?
Is there no validity to Feeling Glad All Over?
Only at the bottom of the hierarchy.

So, there we go then...

It wasn't a Tangerine Dream after all...
...it was a Mass Murdering Mafiosi Nightmare all along.

Two of our trading team were to have offered Belokon and K. Oyston an entirely free High Level Consultancy Document on how to avoid the pitfalls of the murky meanderings of ScudamoreWorld.
We were even to have offered not to work with any other EPL teams for the period that the Mighty Pool reside in the Premier League.
We were to have offered support, analyses and advices on enhanced sabermetrics and the gaming of the transfer market.
We were to have offered a match-by-match assessment of the market impacts, the rogue operators and a real-time evaluation of the control of media (dis)information to optimise the positivities of these dynamics.

All for free.
But what are we saying?
That some things (most things?) are more important than wonga?

And, finally...

If you have any interest in giving us oodles of your rapidly devaluing money so that we can sell you our ante-post and pre-match information so that you might make more money that will, in turn, rapidly devalue, particularly as the trades are effectively nine month options positions, then tough.

This season we are virtually totally isolationist.

That's what we are saying.

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Monday 24 May 2010

Feeling Glad All Over, Feeling Glad All Over, Feeling Glad All Over...

John Terry earns more than the entire Blackpool playing staff put together.

The Blackpool budget places them hierarchically in the lower half of the third league.

The whole team cost just a shade over a million in total - Man of the Match Keith Southern arrived for a nominal fee, Baptiste for just 35 grand from Mansfield and 4 On Loan players played a part in the Play Off Final triumph.

But Charlie Adam is Riquelme - a cracking player.

There are those voices who suggest that Nottingham Forest should have been promoted as they finished 10 points ahead of the Mighty Pool.
But we beat them 4 times...
...and there is a Clausura as well as an Apertura.

17 Play off matches have only ever yielded two defeats - and one of those was a rigged event.

Glad All Over, Yes I'm Glad All Over...

The biggest prize money on one match in the history of world sport.
Even CNN News featured the match.

The moment the final whistle sounded, the 4,000 seater new stadium was dispatched from Denmark.
Not to be ready for the new season, the Tangerines are Season Ticket-only for 2010/11 - like Manchester United used to be.

And yet the current ground doesn't even reach Championship status - one more airing for the seminal chant: "We've only got two stands, we've only got two stands..."

And as one of the plasterers said: "Every Premier League fan wanted Blackpool to get promoted. Would you rather party on the Golden Mile or get battered in Cardiff?"

More importantly, the borough needed this.
After the Fake Farce of the SuperCasino, eventually given and then thankfully taken away from Manchester in a prime example of New Labour Strategy (sic), the Promenade Development may continue with the prospect of a healthy combination of football fans and prawn sandwich eaters descending on the town.

Blackpool is a larger and more working class version of Benitses in Kerkyra - from a stylish holiday resort for normal people to shagging in the streets and back to normality again.

"A fantastic day for anyone who has ever even dreamed of liking Tangerine" - Ollie.

Feeling Glad All Over...

With my 40 year old moth-eaten scarf and my 20 year old inflatable Blackpool Tower, this years' Home Strip offset, I would suggest, very nicely by the beige Armani shorts, I was a minor part of the Tangerine hordes - 40% of fans are women and girls - it was one huge Wave of Tangerine Rave.

The bloke next to me had had heart surgery and had been told not to attend by his doctors. The first 45 minutes were somewhat concerning. But as he said, "What A Way To Go!"

The late decision to change to white shirts was a typical Ollie masterstroke in the 107 degrees cauldron and the location of the High-Vis Tangerine Masses Raving in the Spring Sunshine offset the royal blue depression on the west side.

The Pool had done their Sun Tzu.

Glad All Over...

Everyone was crying.
Everybody could see it was part of a salvation for a community.
"Ollie is God, the Players are Amazing, the Town Needed This..."

If I have ever been happier than I was on Saturday, I can't remember it.
I probably have had better days but, in the immediate term, I can't fuckin' remember them either.

Feeling Glad All Over, Glad All Over...

I Ain't Happy
I'm Feeling Glad
I Got Sunshine
In A Bag
I'm Useless
But Not For Long
The Future Is Coming On
It's Coming On
It's Coming On

Walking Up And Down The Prom
After Getting To The Prem

And 10 minutes after the Final Whistle, the joy of winning and the prospects of facing Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal, Bolton had faded enabling Reality to reappear: "Are you watching PNE? Are you watching PNE?"

Shoot some Preston scum...

And hanging from the motorway bridge just where refugees from Preston reach the autobahn hung a huge Tangerine banner claiming: "Forever In Our Shadow".

Sing Softly.
Be Still.
Sleep.

And, without wishing to sound like Father Ted Crilly after he won the Golden Cleric Award, "where are you now Tony Slater with your raggedy in-administration bunch of Nob-Enders?", "and what about you Susan Hill with your sad town of chemical plants and misery?", "and were all those Bradford City fans who celebrated robbing 'Pool of an earlier promotion watching in rapt attention" etc etc etc.

And three things to be considered before the completion of this homage to a town that is, was and always will be a working class nirvana.

1. For those of you who believe that Blackpool are another Derby, Burnley, Barnsley sort of affair.
Nonsense.
Three matches this season against Premier League opposition has produced a 4-1 versus Wigan, a 2-1 victory over Everton and a 4-3 defeat at Stoke after leading both 2-0 and 3-2.
9 goals in 4 games.
4-3-3 with overlapping full backs.
Every attack phased in different waves.
Creating overlaps of attacking options in a rugby-stylee.

2. The timing of the V-shaped decline and recovery that started 39 years ago is perfect.
With the new and unanimous UEFA objectives to flatten the hierarchy of free market abuse in football, well managed clubs like Blackpool with sound finances will be able to battle on a more level playing field.
In the Premier League!
OMG :))

3. And, most importantly, we currently sit one place outside the Champions League slots.
Just behind Arsenal, Aston Villa, Birmingham and Blackburn :)

But, in that revenge is always best served cold, when Blackpool were relegated from Division Two for the first time ever in 1977/78, they were demoted with the highest points total in history.
And it was Cardiff who sent us down.
The match between Cardiff and Leyton Orient was programmed after all the other fixtures had been completed.
Orient had only won one away game all season and Cardiff didn't try very hard at all to prevent the second one.
32 years to respond to that one, you bastards :)

Totally made up...

And even the setting sun was Tangerine...

Tangerine.
Never orange.

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Tuesday 11 May 2010

Why Worry About Dark Pools When There Is The Timeless Beauty Of Blackpool?

EIEIEIO
Up The Football League We Go
When We Win Promotion
This Is What We'll Sing
We Are The Blackpool
We Are The Blackpool
We Are Football Kings


We're poor - the fourth poorest borough in the country.
We've got proper haircuts - critical in these times of branded aesthetics.
And we're going up to ScudamoreWorld.

Were You Watching PNE? Were You Watching PNE?

Blackpool have the smallest budget of any team ever to have reached the Championship Play Offs for a place in the Casino.

At the beginning of the season, we were second favourites for relegation.

Ian Holloway, The Second Coming And Then Some, has a clause in his contract which rewards him if he keeps Blackpool in the Championship.
Slightly legally problematical with the Food Mall round the corner...

Seasider Seasider Seasider Seasider Seasider

People who have been watching this beautiful team for the last half century are unanimous in their assessment that this is the best it has been...
Better than Armfield and Suddaby and Suddick and Walsh and Horner and Gore and Ronson and I could get slightly tedious here...

We play 4-3-3 everywhere.
We win and make seven changes. Then with the match 0-0 at half-time, make three more changes and win 3-0.

We have won 8 of our last 10 matches - the defeat was at Championship Winners Newcastle and the Draw with Bristol City which ensured the Play Off place and was consequently a sweet sweet victory.

Chimchimoree Chimchimoree Chim Chim Cheroo, We Hate Those Bastards In Claret And Blue

In a race with Leicester and Swansea for the Play Off places, Holloway brought in out-of-favour strikers from...?
DJ Campbell from Leicester and Dobbie Dobbie from Swansea - and, in the example of universal energy that was tonight's 4-3 victory over PNE Reject Davies, DJ got 3 and Dobbie the other.
I mean...
...how fucking cool is that?

We play like Arsenal.
We had nigh on 70% possession away from home tonight.

And we're hard.
Friday - DJ arrested on the training ground in Blackpool and driven down to the Myre to be charged with a stabbing. Makes his way to Peterborough and scores the goal that took the Mighty Pool into the Play Off positions.

Oh! Fucking Joy!!!!!!!!!

Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside. Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Sea. Oh I Do Like To Walk Along The Prom Prom Prom. Where The Pool Fans Sing Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom...

When asked at the press conference (after defeating Forest for the third time this season) whether Blackpool could seriously consider ScudamoreWorld football, what with the poverty and the budget and the three stands and the assortment of criminals and the bumpy pitch an' all, The Goatied Deity graciously responded: "Have you been drinking my friend?"

And I have...

But, on a well selfish level, I might have worried that nearly two decades of dealing with markets and corruption ruining football might have destroyed that inner Reality of what this game can still, at times, mean.

I'm on a well big winning run of trades at the moment but nothing comes anywhere near the sheer ecstatic eruption that greeted DJ's first goal tonight.

LaLaLaLaLaaaaaaaaa
LaLaLaLaLaaaaaaaaa
LaLaLaLaLaaaaaaaaa
LaLaLaLaLaaaaaaaaa...


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Saturday 1 May 2010

I'm Not A Racist But It Would Seem That The Vast Majority Of You Fuckers On The Electoral Register Are #

I'm Not A Racist But La Liga Is Strongly Biased In Favour Of Real Madrid And Castille

Check out the teams that HyperReal Madrid puppet.
Check the matches adjacent to the Champions League for Barcelona.
Check out the key match decisions over the season - our proprietary index shows HyperReal Franco at ## and FC Catalunya at ## (where 100 is pure corruption in a positive direction and 0 is pure corruption t'other way).

Viva La Quinta Brigada :)

I'm Not A Racist But Many Italians Are

Being Black in Italy is like being Black in Buxton.
That is, grim...

Mario Balotelli is an Uppity Nigger and Italy doesn't do Black Power.

Mourinho doesn't get on with Mario, his teammates don't get on with Mario, the Italian media slaughters Mario and the Inter fans aren't too struck on him either.

Over to Mino Raiola, Mario's agent: "A few days ago Mario found that someone had loosened the wheel nuts on his car. If someone isn’t careful, he risks getting killed on the motorway."

He is not yet 20 years of age.

I'm Not A Racist But William Hill Bookmakers Target Addicts

Online you will find numerous inducements to open a gambling account with Leeds-based bookies William Hill.
To encourage you to start up a new addictive pastime, they offer you a bribe of £25.

If, however, you visit the male urinal of any public house authorised to show ScudamoreWorld live and such bog offers Advertising While You Piss, you will see an offer from William Hill providing you with a £30 free bet to join up.

At the very least grab the fiver.

A postmodern marketing reflection of the historical proximity of licensed betting offices to pubs.

If William Hill knew where they were located, they'd be next door to smack houses and opium dens too.

I'm Not A Racist But I'm A Leader Of A British Political Party

Excellent.
The mask is off.

The British Election 2010 is to be decided by the Le Pen factor.

The French possessed the good sense to prevent the racists gaining power by isolating the anti-immigration vote in one loci.
This is not feasible here due to the distribution of bigots across the political spectrum.
The racists are even in the Green Party in this septic isle.

What a nasty and irrelevant little place...

I'm Not A Racist But Party Leader Admits That The State Is A Mafiosi

Nick Clegg wants to get the lunatic asylum seekers: "out of the hands of the criminals and into the hands of the taxman."
!!!!!!!

Yo! Pay protection money to us instead.

Jean Baudrillard: "Monopoly structures (and any state is a monopoly, since it claims a monopoly in the political and social spheres) cannot but secrete a para-political society, a mafia of some sort, to control this form of generalised corruption. It is pure hypocrisy on the part of the political authorities to fight this mafia, since it is an emanation of those authorities themselves."

I'm Not A Racist But I Don't Work For A Proper Media Outlet Either

Dearie, dearie me...
Which gutter will Theo Guardian end up in?

Instead of the usual PR exercises on behalf of those who leak the fake news to the peripheralised 'journalists', the paper is now offering straight advertorials.
And on behalf of bookmaking organisations too.

Following on from the season long advertising project in favour of dodgy bookmaker Sportingbet, Barry Glendenning gives Betfair's Andy Gray a chance to promote his clients.

The conclusion to this pitiful nonsense includes the following claptrap...
Andy Gray talked to Small Talk on behalf of Betfair... Tune into www.betfairfootball.com - a great football website... the home of football rivalry."

And there were we thinking that the rivalry was to do with a football match on the pitch and in the stands.

It matters more when they are taking your money out of it...

I'm Not A Racist But Rafa Is A Waste Of Space. Always Has Been. Always Will Be...

Well, the laundry man ain't no astrologer :)
But he did get it right about the excitement and the late goal.

19 defeats in one season.
No utilisation of ball boys during the second leg against the only proper team from Madrid - if you are a glum scouse, count up all those seconds passing away.

I'm Not A Racist But I'm Not Too Happy About The Germans Buying Greece

Those ostriches who believe that state sovereignty matters at all in these Friedmanian Times, should look at the Reality of Greece.

A group of German banks and private companies are considering a proprietary £1 billion bailout of Greece now that the country has been reduced to junk status by the speculative elite who work together to achieve such super-systemic holistic cornered markets.

Baudrillard: "The only suspense that remains is that of knowing how far the world can derealise itself before succombing to its reality deficit or, conversely, how far it can hyperrealise itself before succombing to an excess of reality (the point when, having become perfectly real, truer than true, it will fall into the clutches of total simulation)."

I'm Not A Racist But The Bookmakers Set Up A Fake 'Rigged' Match Last Weekend To Pay For The Damages Resulting From Chievo V Catania

The whispers and the market moves, the fake dynamics while the Real market burrowed underground, the mugs were on a Draw between Livorno and Catania last weekend.
Which is exactly where the insiders and the professionals were not.
We did warn you that this would occur.

And, if you were outside the loop, there was still money to be made.
################################################################################
#############################################################################
###########################################################################

I'm Not A Racist But I'm Really Pleased That Glasgow Rangers Will Get No Money From Gary Neville's Testimonial Due To All That Urination In Our Beautiful City

The Greater Manchester Police are not tough enough to deal with Hordes of Hun.

Are there any difficulties with playing this testimonial offshore?
Somewhere away from taxing eyes?

######################################################################

* All posts labelled # are only available fully by subscription.

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Monday 19 April 2010

Death, Oh! What A Shocking Bad Hat And More Death

Die Yeung! Betting Baron Continues With Porn Barons' Little Funeral Earner

Cremated remains of the deceased interred at St Andrew’s Stadium in the presence of family and friends: £60

Hire of the club flag to drape over the coffin: £10

Inscribed memorial brick placed at St Andrew's Stadium: £50

Four-line entry in the Book of Remembrance at St Andrew’s Stadium: £60

And, who would want anything more before being laid to rest than the final option -

Funeral cortege pause at the club grounds at St Andrew’s Stadium: no charge

Yep! No charge.
But there is a proviso in small print 'where route allows'.

Sullivan and Gold probably raid the graves as part of their feud with the Billionaire Betting Barber.

Who Are You?

Undoubtedly the most postmodern of football chants.

But.

'Tis not even modernist.

Just as every single human being must learn the current pseudo-utterance phrase today, so it was 170 years ago when this chant first appeared in London.

Following on from the equally memorable "Quoz" and "Oh! What a shocking bad hat!", "Who are you" spread through the mire like wildfire.

Charles Mackay: "The phrase was uttered quickly, and with a sharp sound upon the first and last words, leaving the middle one little more than an aspiration."

"Who Are You" is omnicultural, omnisocial and omnipresent.
It may be either progressive or regressive, and it is always dismissive.

Comparable with the excellent practice in Romanian society when, after an authority has delivered fulsome 'proof' of a particular stance or attitude, the listener simply responds: "And?"...

Katyń Catastrophe - The Conspiracy

The Russians spent decades claiming that the slaughter of 20,000 Polish officers and intelligentsia at Katyń was a German war crime when, all along, it was one of Stalin's.

The Katyń issue between the two countries is like a hugely inflated Bloody Sunday.

The Katyń movie was made under the patronage of Lech Kaczyński.

That he and a current selection of the Polish 'elite' were taken out/died in April 10th's aircrash is a thoroughly Putinesque Politkovskaya sort of neohyperreality.

That the volcanic plume meant that none of the world 'elite' were able to attend the funerals is only to be fated.

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Thursday 15 April 2010

There's Loads Of You And You're Still A Pile Of Shite

Just as the North West of England, with 8 of the ScudamoreWorld teams, is the epicentre of English football, certain nations can lay claim to being global hotspots of talent allowing the said nation to punch well above their collective weight on the FIFA scene.

We thought, with 75 days to go before England's Penalty Shoot-Out Quarter Final exit, that we should check where these oases of beauty lie.

We need two figures to undertake this simple calculation - the population of the country and the FIFA Ranking.
Unfortunately, the FIFA Rankings are highly non-linear and so, for a more meaningful yet simplistic overview, we have chosen to rank the nations by i) population (1st to 32nd) and ii) FIFA Rankings (1st to 32nd).

So, for example, the Hyperimperium with 309 million wage slaves, ranks highest in terms of total population (if not popular intellect) but only 13th in the Soccerball Ratings - a Rating of -12.
Meanwhile, Uruguay with just 3 million souls is the second least populated country in the tournament and yet is 15th in the footballing hierarchy - a Rating of +16 (31-15).

One might hazard to suggest that there is a significantly greater football culture in the former World Cup winning nation. In fact, there are grounds for suggesting that Uruguay has been the greatest territory over the 80 years of Jules Rimet And All That.

If we were to become pernickety about it, we could include other disequilibrium inputs eg GDP, political biases within FIFA, the impact of war etc but then we would be putting together a mini-model for you and we don't want to be doing the likes of that.

Also, it is obviously difficult for highly populated countries to rank positively in our hierarchy, and we would suggest that any positive figure for the top ten nations (Spa, Bra, Neth, Por, Ita, Ger, Eng, Fra, Arg and Gre) is a good thing.

So, who should you avoid having a kickabout on the beach with this summer, and who should you seek out to humiliate with your limited ball retention skills?

FIF Footie Fantasia World Cup 2010 Top Six

1. PORTUGAL +19
2. NETHERLANDS +18
3. URUGUAY +16
4. GREECE +12
4. SERBIA +12
6. SPAIN +11

FIF Footie Fantasia World Cup 2010 Bottom Six

32. JAPAN -24
31. SOUTH AFRICA -20
30. SOUTH KOREA -19
29. NORTH KOREA -17
28. NIGERIA -16
27. USA -12

FIF Footie Fantasia World Cup 2010 FIFA Top Ten Ranking Teams

PORTUGAL +19
NETHERLANDS +18
GREECE +12
SPAIN +11
ARGENTINA +4
ITALY +3
ENGLAND +2
BRAZIL 0
GERMANY 0
FRANCE -1

All of which goes to show that, apart from the Dutch, nobody in Northern Europe should be bounced into thinking that we are any good at this sport.

Still, with Barack Obama agreeing to attend the Final in Jo'burg if the US team gets there, one should always remember that the outcomes of these stand alone tournaments are decided in some very murky corridors indeed.

Meanwhile, we are thinking, once again, of producing our "Anyone But England" Flags - if some Glasgow Rangers fan is able to make thousands standing outside Old Trafford selling green and gold deludo-scarves, why shouldn't a Mancunian stand outside Ibrox selling "Anyone But England" Flags?

And while we are on really important issues, how much tax have the repeated newspaper images cost the green and gold deludo-scarf seller?

But.

Does Glasgow do tax?

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Sunday 11 April 2010

The Ball's In Our COURT. We Intend To Keep IT There #

We're Forever Blowing Bubbles, Helium Inflated Premier League Olympic Stadium Competition Distorting Bubbles In The Air

With the Porn Barons countersuing the Billionaire Betting Barber, a financial situation both murky and opaque, ##############################################, the London Depression Olympics and a relegation battle to boot.

Things are never dull in the East.

But having been fakely and falsely supported by ScudamoreWorld after all of the dodginess relating to Tevez and Mascherano and their indentured third party arrangements with a whole host of shady characters, and unbelievably allowed to maintain their Premier League place with no points deduction.
And following this on with a financial meltdown resulting in the delayed publishing of financial reports and accounts etc etc.

On the day after the victory that may well secure ScudamoreWorld participation for another year, who should we be to dampen the East London euphoria?

But the 2nd Most Favoured Team in the Premier League this year has been West Ham United.
Despite everything.

And the Most Favoured Team?
#############################################################

In ScudamoreWorld, gambling and porn pays.

Premier League Spooky Coincidence #1819

Who have been the referees for the six FA Cup Semi Finals covering the last three seasons?
Howard Webb and Alan Wiley, that's who...

Where Are Rafa's Loyalties Now? Where Are Rafa's Royalties Now?

Putting his personal CV ahead of the team that he manages? With his reputation? When he is scarpering off to Italy in the summer? With all those loyal fans still reluctantly believing in him enough to utter his name in chant?

Forget the Champions League fourth position financial necessity.
The Europa Cup is much more conducive to future earnings and priorities are lop-sided accordingly despite the chutzpah emanating from Rafa's collection of mouths.

An aside.
Precisely 0% of Real Madrid fans wish for Benitez to be the next FC Franco manager.
Correct they are...

The UEFA Cup Final 'triumph' against Marseille was a Barthez Affair [sending off and a penalty conceded], the Champions League 'triumph' against Milan was despite Rafa rather than because of him, the FA Cup 'triumph' versus West Ham United was ###############################################################, and last year's 2nd place was ScudamoreWorld-inflated.

Overrated and overpaid.
Already.
Soon to be richer still?

The difference between the top tier and the rest in management - the premier managers are devoted to the club strategically, the lesser plan only in the short term and from a personal perspective.

All those transfers between Merseyside and Madrid...
Robbie Keane at 55 grand a day...
Financial crisis due to leveraged debt and no Champions League place...

Hyperreal Hooligans

Louise Taylor understands football.
Louise Taylor writes for The Guardian.
Louise Taylor knows her working class social history from her post-imperial private education in the Middle East.
Louise Taylor reckons that she perceives the whereabouts of all the delinquents who used to be classed as 'football hooligans' - they now all write blogs denigrating the great and the good who are minting the game for their own proprietary benefits.

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But we do prepare a blog and it targets people within the game so we read Taylor's deep thoughts with interest.

"There is an unfairness inherent in seeing people ridiculed and their reputations trashed by anonymous, factually challenged, half-wits who would probably never dare say "boo" to the object of their vitriol's face. Even worse, the suspicion is that witch-hunts are sometimes manufactured by the same numbskull submitting multiple comments via different usernames."

No comment.
Absolutely no comment in this place :)

"Really. Is this how the media works?" was Martin O'Neill's response to being informed that the 'rumours' surrounding his tenure at Villa Park were released on the web.
Unfortunately so, yes.

If the mainstream media that employs the likes of Louise Taylor were to report on the Reality of the sport in ScudamoreWorld, there would be no need for 'concerned hooligan of Scunthorpe' to waste their time pointing out the bleeding obvious.

Still.
Fortunately our privileged journalist has a solution - a reincarnation of the extreme modes of discipline that she experienced at her strict private school.

Yep, that should solve footballs ills...
Flog a Blogger.
Introduce it as half time entertainment.
Other Floggers To Be Blogged.

Half-witted.
Or what?

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Sunday 28 March 2010

These Are Some Of The Questions Of Our Time #

What Or Who Decides The Outcome Of Football Matches?

Roberto Martinez refers obliquely to "third party decisions" and the astute Spaniard is more than correct.
But the loci of those third parties are both disparate and interlinked dependent upon the murky circumstance.

Why Was There No Mention In The British Press About The Wave Of Arrests For Match-Fixing In Turkey Until The Observer Ran A Footnote Today?

Fatih Akyel played 64 times for his country and Arif Erdem was another star performer during the years when the Turkish team ran very fast indeed.
Both are now in prison awaiting trial for fraud and belonging to an illegal criminal organisation - presumably implying that there is legal variety...

Others among the 46 under arrest include managers, owners, administrators and the inevitable goalkeeping troupe.
There are seven individuals still on the run.

Meanwhile in China, three more referees have been arrested - Lu Jun, Huang Junjie and Zhou Weixin - following on the jailing of Gong Jianping for ten years for taking bribes.

There are other match fixing investigations underway or recently completed in Germany, Belgium, Italy, Eire, Croatia, Macedonia, Poland, the Czech Republic, Hungary, Slovenia, Bosnia Herzegovina, Portugal, Israel, Switzerland, Austria, Zimbabwe, Ukraine and Singapore.

We could add Spain, Scotland, Greece, Russia, Denmark, France, Romania, Serbia, Albania, Finland, the Netherlands and Bulgaria as other illegitimate territories.

But the one that me and my team are most certain about is the English Premier League - ScudamoreWorld.

Why Are MUST MUGS?

Standing proudly in your green and gold finery, taking a stand against the free market, a principled army of real supporters...
And what are you standing for, you people?
This is not FC United of Manchester, a community response to a neo-con venture.
This is no different than Romania in 1989.
This is a coup.

For just as the Iliescu clan removed the Ceausescu clan from power in order to impose the same template of corruption.
So it must be for MUST.

Goldman Sachs are the bankers behind the Glazers.
Goldman Sachs are the bankers behind the Red Knights.
Goldman Sachs are the bankers where Sir Ferguson stashes his tens of millions.

Red Knights?
Red Shites.

Why Does The Murdochracy Avoid Reality?

90% of fans are in favour of the implementation of the Ofcom dissection of the BSkyB business model for top level corrupted sport in Britain.
The Murdochracy has levered the malleable ones that ruin the federations and bodies that now oversee our sports to back their objections into Ofcom massively reducing the subscription rates for BSkyB sport on other media platforms.

Strangely but predictably enough, there is no mention of this appeal in The Times.

You will pay to read our hyperreality.
You will pay.

Who Is Responsible For The Demise Of West Ham United?

Well, the media is pointing the finger at Gianfranco Zola.
And the enthusiastic and the credulous unsupport their team making away fixtures preferable for the Hammers.

But the Porn Barons, having been outwitted on every level by the Billionaire Bookmaking Barber, must take their share of the blame.
But you need to go further back and examine Tevez and Mascherano, Curbishley, Joorabchian, the Icelandic Robber Bankers and, of course, last but not least, the decision #####################################################################
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Why Are The Government Allowing The Premier League To Enable A Cover Up At Portsmouth? Or Whose Storrie Now?

Well, there is a simple answer to that one.
The brand is fucked.
Long live the brand.

Angelos Andronikou has form.
I used to work with Shami Ahmed, the founder of Joe Bloggs Clothing, and there must be a Real concern that the public purse is to suffer at the hands of more righteous creditors eg crooked owners and dodgy agents.

Meanwhile, Mrs Fran Storrie, wife of Whose-Storrie-Now? puts us all in the picture in her own inimitable style: "The only thing Peter is guilty of is trying to be a hero and saving that club. We've been living a nightmare but we'll get through it. Us Eastenders are made tough."

And corrupt, it would seem from where we stand.
And anyway, when the Krays appeared in Manchester, they were escorted back to the train and sent back from whence they came.

So not that tough.

"I've got shoulders as wide as Hulme Flyover,
Teeth as white as the white cliffs of Dover.
I've got 'don't mess with me' tattooed on me teeth.
I'm from Manchester.
And I'm hard" - Lemn Sissay.


Why Is It Really Really Funny To Us When John Colquhoun Has A Really Really Bad Week?

Tony Mowbray sacked as manager of Celtic after the clubs worst season for 43 years and their first defeat to St Mirren for 21 years and their heaviest defeat to St Mirren ever.
Colquhoun was behind the appointment and the disastrous transfers.

Capello hints that Theo Walcott is peripheral to the World Cup squad. Walcott so ineffective that even John Motson noticed it and Arsenal looked like a proper team only when the sprinter was substituted by a footballer.

Colquhoun, who claims through a smirk, that ###################################
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The air-kick against Chelsea was his Paul Robinson moment.
Tsk!

And Callum Davenport finally left West Ham United after all that stabbing and all that racism and all that sibling strife.

And Fulham, where he is club agent, are knocked out of the FA Cup and then pasted by 'Umble 'Ull.

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Like really really funny...

For The Good Of The Club, Why Doesn't Stan Kroenke Just Take Over Now?

Because he is not primarily interested in the good of the club.
As the allegedly hyperintelligent American moved to within just 10 shares of having to launch a club takeover, he will now stall.
Once the Champions League campaign is as dead in the water as the Premier League one always was, Mr Kroenke will be able to hoover up all those shares much more cheaply.

Why Is Richard Scudamore Still In A Job? Why Is Sir Dave Richards Still In A Job?

Portsmouth, Newcastle, West Ham United (twice), Manchester United, Liverpool, Hull City, Shinawatra, Asian bookmakers taking over Birmingham, ##################
#####################################, Premier League clubs shouldering over 60% of the total European club debt, 80% of the clubs having their credit rating suspended, the lucrative brown envelope conveyor belt between ################################, the control of the majority of the referees by #############################, football being above the law with regard to HMRC, the ownership of player loyalties by agents, and by association, bookmakers, the repeated undermining of the FA, the proper authority on English football rather than the cuckoo in the nest that is the bookmaking entity, ScudamoreWorld.

Our Great Leader is feeling the pressure.
He has spoken.

"The idea that there is somehow this independent regulator with no links to the actual constituents that somehow thinks that this medicine is good for you is a hard one to swallow. What is the point of a totally independent board? To decide what on behalf of whom?"

Well, Fuck-Face, 'a totally independent board' is needed to stop you selling OUR game to ######################################################################
And, Fuck-Face, this board would decide on your guilt in the massive corruption that, once it breaks, will make Calciopoli look like a smidgen of nothingness.
But, Fuck-Face, we hear that Fatih Akyel's lawyer is looking for new clients.

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Tuesday 23 March 2010

What A State And The Fourth Estate #

They Rig Matches Don't They?

The ########### match on Sunday between ############################### was an agreed draw.
A fix.
So were a number of other matches at the weekend and not only in ######### - the Premier League, as usual, triumphed in the quantity of rigged events but the other leading European leagues were represented too.

But we select the ################# match, ######################################, but because of the sheer level of skullduggery involved in the public sphere.

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Now.
Early Warning GmBH is supposed to be monitoring for events like this on behalf of the various governing bodies. Indeed, by teaming up with the likes of Betfair, these sleuths have been able to accurately finger instances of match fixing in a wide range of European countries who, shall we say, are not welcome at the top table.

When instances occur in the hallowed heights though, the response is always mute.

The ####################################### match was a prime example of illicit insider trading in a rigged sporting event.
The #################### bookies knew it.
The 'information' quickly filtered to other layers across the globe.
And Betfair's market-making shows that they certainly knew the rub of the green.

So why was it allowed?
Why no outspoken words at ############## or at UEFA?
Why should punters unaware of the scam lose their money on an event like this?

And that is the bottom line for all you boys and girls and Geoff Hoons out there.

As the season progresses, there will be numerous other agreed results in the top European leagues - there will certainly be more than a few markets very similar to the one that was abused in ############# on Sunday.
And how is the little person to know if the event is truly a rigged market or, rather, a doubly bluffed rigged market which entraps them in a cornered market of no escape.

Just like Greece and Goldman Sachs.

Weasel Burying His Diplock Gold

"Ian Watmore [the chief executive of the FA who yesterday resigned as a protest at Premier League psychopathies] is an insignificant civil servant and no loss to football" - Henry Winter at the Daily Telegraph.

"Henry Winter is an apologist for corruption at all levels in the game. Whenever a rogue requires a mouthpiece to protect what remains of their validity, step forward Mr Winter. His recent roster of shame has included Richard Scudamore, Peter Storrie and Michael Owen. Winter is an insignificant sychophantic lubricator of corruption and will be no loss to the game."

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Sunday 14 March 2010

Doing A Little Deal Down The Moss #

Yesterday, Jonathan Moss, a bog-standard referee from the wrong side of the Pennines, gave a fallacious penalty (the infringement occurred outside the penalty area) that allowed West Bromwich Albion to defeat Blackpool by 3 goals to 2.

Blackpool manager, Ian Holloway, was furious about the decision.

And why is this of any concern to the likes of you?
Well, Mr Moss should never have been allowed to officiate on this match in the first place.

Below we list all of the occasions where Moss has refereed either West Brom or Blackpool during his five year Football League tenancy.

Scunthorpe 1 Blackpool 0

WBA 3 Luton 2

Norwich 1 WBA 2

Blackpool 3 Scunthorpe 1 - despite having Brandon sent off by Moss after 38 minutes.

Blackpool 0 Plymouth 0

WBA 4 Ipswich 0

Peterborough 0 WBA 3 - a penalty and sending off in favour of the Throstles.

Hull 2 Blackpool 2 - Sent off Kaspar Gorkss of Blackpool.

Blackpool 1 West Brom 3 - Gave West Brom their equalising penalty.

Burnley 2 Blackpool 0 - A penalty to seal the Hillbilly victory.

Blackpool 0 Watford 2

Blackpool 1 Nottingham Forest 1 - Ian Evatt sent off after 68 minutes.

Blackpool 2 Newcastle 1 - must be because it helped West Brom!

Scunthorpe 1 West Brom 3 - two sendings off and a penalty when the game was one-all sorted out this particular affair.

WBA 3 Blackpool 2 - gives Albion fake penalty for winning goal.

So, what are the scores on the doors?

West Bromwich Albion matches with Mr Moss blowing the whistle:

7 matches.
7 wins.
4 penalties in favour of West Brom and none against.
3 sendings off in favour of West Brom and none against.

Blackpool matches with Moss's sides:

10 matches.
2 wins and 5 defeats.
0 penalties in favour of Blackpool but two against.
0 sendings off in favour of Blackpool but three against.

Meanwhile, in the hyperreality, the Daily Telegraph tells us in headline: "No Racism In Referees' Decision Making".
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The admission of crimes.

How exactly do the Football League reach the decision of who referees whom?

At least we are no longer the only ones asking such questions.

Arsène Wenger: "They [UEFA] have to be much more open how they rate their referees. Nobody knows really how they name their referees. Where is the ranking of the referees? I believe too much has gone on in the last thirty years."

Giancarlo Abete, president of the FIGC in Italy following the mugging of Fiorentina by the Bavarians: "The truth is errors can happen, but this is just too obvious to be ignored."

Alex Ferguson on the same 'match': "It was an incredible decision that winning goal... deary, deary me. I think maybe the lad's under pressure because of what happened last season [Ovrebo's channelling of Barcelona into the Champions League Final]."

Wenger, once again on the Porto 1st Leg: "In situations like that you are either incompetent or dishonest and I prefer to think he [Hansson] is incompetent."

Roberto Martinez: "Refereeing makes the Premier League a laughing stock."

And while we are feeling quizzical, quizzical, I want to get quizzical...

LEEDS UNITED? OWNED BY ##########################################################
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JIM O'NEILL, HEAD OF THE RED KNIGHTS COUP? AN AVID MANCHESTER UNITED FAN? EVEN THOUGH HE HAILS FROM CHESHIRE AND ONLY STARTED SUPPORTING THEM AT UNIVERSITY?

CHELSEA? BEING IN CONTROL OF ###################################################
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PORTSMOUTH? NOW TO BE TAKEN OVER BY A HORSERACING TRAINER? WITH THEIR REPUTATION?
AND WHERE IS THE 9 POINT DEDUCTION ANYWAY, SCUDAMORE?

Scudamore's poodle Dan Johnson: "The Premier League can have any particular [ownership] model we want."
Scudamore with his league in the miry bottom of London.

Scudamore should be worrying lest ###############################################
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Football Is Fixed - British by misfortune, Mancunian by the grace of God.

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Saturday 27 February 2010

The Strategy Of Pleszcze Bysshe And His Inhabitants

Pleszcze Bysshe wished to build aerial castles in his fairy tale lands.
Pleszcze Bysshe wished to become a ruler too.
But all he had were debts.

Pleszcze Bysshe needed money to keep the wolves from the door.

To clear the necessary debts, to build his fabulous castles and to secrete his booty offshore was Pleszcze Bysshe's strategy for achieving power.

To Pleszcze Bysshe, money was smack...
...still is.

Pleszcze Bysshe liked to have his cake, eat it, regurgitate, and then eat it all over again.

Pleszcze Bysshe needed a market vehicle with multiple underground market links, a shell operation that would allow market control.
He looked far and wide, this way and that, until next to the sea in a dim and distant land he found The Ponzi Shell.

The Ponzi Shell was perfect for his designs and Pleszcze Bysshe established opaque ownership to polish off the Ponzi Panegyric Pyramid.

To operate the Ponzi Shell was expensive but creative networks of accounting chicanery and fraudulent financial flippancy allowed the very high wages of the participants to be covered.

Once the team was established, the market manipulation could begin.
Insiders, from the top down, would drive the market for many Ponzi Shell events knowing that they were able to achieve the necessary market outcome to serve all of their addictive requirements.

Of course, as the Ponzi Shell was nothing more than that, a shell, debts were attracted to the non-functioning operation like barnacles to a hull in Portsmouth harbour.

Even Pleszcze Bysshe was owed money by the phantasmagoric operation that he familially owned.
Thirty million gold pieces, it is said.

But the rigged markets had been very rewarding to Bysshe and his Boys and the thirty million pieces could be written off as collateral damage.

The Ponzi Shell had been a boiler room operation, a structure very beloved in psychopathic late capitalism.
Castles have been built offshore while a shell is left onshore.
The Ponzi Shell was asset-stripped, vacuumed from the top down and from the inside out.
Like an alchemic battery hen, the Ponzi Shell produced illicit gold until nobody was willing to munch on the omelettes of rigged events.

Proprietary Profits from a Community Entity.

Fat Wallets in Black Markets.

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Wednesday 3 February 2010

Football Is Fucked And Rafa Is "Flattered"

When we gave you all some money via our Xmas Freebie Bet (released in August so that you might garner a suitable price on your investment) - see: http://footballisfixed.blogspot.com/2009/08/15-reasons-why-liverpool-fc-will-not.html - we opened with a quote from Scottish Squiggly Doogle Merchant, Andy Gray:
"For the first time in the last ten years, I think this is the best opportunity Liverpool have of winning it [the Premier League title]. I really mean that."

And it came to pass...
...not.

In the light of his gross incompetence, why does Rafa Benitez hold such a prominent position within the game?
As we said in the above post: "His team selection is ropey, his transfer policy is totally disastrous, his public pronouncements are counter-productive, his squad size is unmanageable, he is unable to judge a goalkeeper and he allows cliques to develop in his squad, even siding with one against the other.

As Robbie Keane pointedly said when joining Tottenham after Rafa With The Strange Satanic Beard had managed to lose £10.3 million on the striker in six months: "It is always good when you have got a manager you can understand."
£55,000 per day..."

It was fair dinkum to turn an askew glance to this vastly overrated manager when he was merely deconstructing Liverpool FC but now that it appears that he is to export his lack of expertise to Juventus his record needs to be placed in perspective.

Benitez won La Liga twice with Valencia.
That's it.
All the remainder of his 'achievements' are tarnished in some way.

Take the 2003/04 UEFA Cup victory against Marseille.
The match was rigged.
Watch the footage on YouTube of Mr Fabian Barthez and the sending off and the penalty that gave Valencia their lead on the stroke of Half Time if you fancy entertaining yourselves.

And all three of his 'triumphs' at Liverpool are similarly tainted and enhanced.
It was Rafa's poor tactics, a dressing room rebellion and Dida's interesting slant on professionalism that resulted in the Champions League victory in Istanbul.
The FA Cup Final victory against West Ham United was another fixed event that we have blogged about previously - we backed Liverpool to win the trophy but sold them on the Asian Handicaps over the ninety minutes.
And we were not the only ones to take such a position, I can assure you...
And we won't bore you again with the Real Liverpool performance of last season as opposed to ScudamoreWorld's inflated league elevation.

A bog standard manager in a dysfunctional hierarchy was always going to end in tears.
Particularly once Rafa restricted transfer targets solely to the city of Madrid!

And then along comes a PR campaign orchestrated by Rafa's agent Manuel Garcia Quilon.

La Repubblica has announced that Benitez has agreed to take over at Juventus in the summer.
Both Quilon and Benitez deny that any conversations have taken place.
Juve meanwhile have sacked Ciro Ferrara and appointed Alberto Zaccheroni until the end of the season.

"As a manager, you have to be proud when a big club, a top club in Europe, is interested in you and are watching you. Perhaps there has been too much talking, but you cannot stop speculation."

Without communication it is difficult to understand how Benitez knows of "the interest", but his latter point should be looked at most closely.

Benitez makes public pronouncements about believing in 'the facts'.
As Nietzsche said: "There can be no facts only interpretations" but there is also a gradation of (hyper)reality at play here.

Mr Benitez is awkwardly placed strategically.
His team are not up to the tasks necessary to deal with the financial quicksand in which the club finds itself. Recent disclosures suggest that £100 million is required just to survive the cash flow exposures.
The Real poverty of the club both financially and on the pitch will become increasingly apparent with the passage of the season.
A deal needed to be tied up while Benitez wasn't completely damaged product.

Benitez is tied to a contract worth £20 million and must not be seen to be breaking the terms of that agreement by openly soliciting third parties.

The 'fact' that Quilon and other agents are positioned to lubricate such areas of grey legality is one of the four reasons that football is fucked, and we address the Real impact of agents further below.