Welcome to the Football Is Fixed Live Coverage of England versus Croatia from the Food Mall.
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Well, I'm already bored so let us start as we mean to go on.
With a moan.
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Neurally Challenged Beardie Weirdie Speaks Shit, Again
Ken Bates, the man who makes the current array of odious owners seem like par for the course, is speaking a squiggly doogle again when he reckons that little clubs (like recent Champions League Semi Finalists Leeds United???) should be able to take revenge on bigger clubs stealing their young talent by gaining points deductions from the child trafficking outfit.
An excellent idea and one that UEFA should seriously consider in their efforts to make the Champions League more balanced.
Handicap the English with a couple of points deduction at the Group Stage and say, a pre-determined sending off around Half Time in the knockout phase.
That should do the trick.
But Mr Bates is hiding behind his whiskers here for his 'little team' illegally poached Blackpool manager Simon Grayson last season.
Being even littler than Leeds, we demand a points reduction.
Now.
And the 'Pool are coming up under a proper manager now...
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JUSTICE - A Refrain And Some Details Worth Checking Out As It Isn't Often That Major Conspiratorials Spiral Out Of Control In Such A Revealing Manner
Further to the recent post on the release of Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi for a crime that he never committed, ignore the pre-match talking head nonsense on ITV and read John Pilger's overview of British and US Deep State Shenanigans - Lockerbie: Megrahi Was Framed - at http://www.zmag.org/zspace/commentaries/3973.
It's more important than football.
In fact, fuck it, it's too important to allow you the opt-out of not clicking, so here it is in full.
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"The hysteria over the release of the so-called Lockerbie bomber reveals much about the political and media class on both sides of the Atlantic, especially Britain. From Gordon Brown's "repulsion" to Barack Obama's "outrage", the theatre of lies and hypocrisy is dutifully attended by those who call themselves journalists. "But what if Megrahi lives longer than three months?" whined a BBC reporter to the Scottish First Minister, Alex Salmond. "What will you say to your constituents, then?"
Horror of horrors that a dying man should live longer than prescribed before he "pays" for his "heinous crime": the description of the Scottish justice minister, Kenny MacAskill, whose "compassion" allowed Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi to go home to Libya to "face justice from a higher power". Amen.
The American satirist Larry David once addressed a voluble crony as "a babbling brook of bullshit". Such eloquence summarises the circus of Megrahi's release.
No one in authority has had the guts to state the truth about the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 above the Scottish village of Lockerbie on 21 December 1988 in which 270 people were killed. The governments in England and Scotland in effect blackmailed Megrahi into dropping his appeal as a condition of his immediate release. Of course there were oil and arms deals under way with Libya; but had Megrahi proceeded with his appeal, some 600 pages of new and deliberately suppressed evidence would have set the seal on his innocence and given us more than a glimpse of how and why he was stitched up for the benefit of "strategic interests".
"The endgame came down to damage limitation," said the former CIA officer Robert Baer, who took part in the original investigation, "because the evidence amassed by [Megrahi's] appeal is explosive and extremely damning to the system of justice." New witnesses would show that it was impossible for Megrahi to have bought clothes that were found in the wreckage of the Pan Am aircraft - he was convicted on the word of a Maltese shopowner who claimed to have sold him the clothes, then gave a false description of him in 19 separate statements and even failed to recognise him in the courtroom.
The new evidence would have shown that a fragment of a circuit board and bomb timer, "discovered" in the Scottish countryside and said to have been in Megrahi's suitcase, was probably a plant. A forensic scientist found no trace of an explosion on it. The new evidence would demonstrate the impossibility of the bomb beginning its journey in Malta before it was "transferred" through two airports undetected to Flight 103.
A "key secret witness" at the original trial, who claimed to have seen Megrahi and his co-accused al-Alim Khalifa Fahimah (who was acquitted) loading the bomb on to the plane at Frankfurt, was bribed by the US authorities holding him as a "protected witness". The defence exposed him as a CIA informer who stood to collect, on the Libyans' conviction, up to $4m as a reward.
Megrahi was convicted by three Scottish judges sitting in a courtroom in "neutral" Holland. There was no jury. One of the few reporters to sit through the long and often farcical proceedings was the late Paul Foot, whose landmark investigation in Private Eye exposed it as a cacophony of blunders, deceptions and lies: a whitewash. The Scottish judges, while admitting a "mass of conflicting evidence" and rejecting the fantasies of the CIA informer, found Megrahi guilty on hearsay and unproven circumstance. Their 90-page "opinion", wrote Foot, "is a remarkable document that claims an honoured place in the history of British miscarriages of justice". (Lockerbie - the Flight from Justice by Paul Foot can be downloaded from www.private-eye.co.uk for £5).
Foot reported that most of the staff of the US embassy in Moscow who had reserved seats on Pan Am flights from Frankfurt cancelled their bookings when they were alerted by US intelligence that a terrorist attack was planned. He named Margaret Thatcher the "architect" of the cover-up after revealing that she killed the independent inquiry her transport secretary Cecil Parkinson had promised the Lockerbie families; and in a phone call to President George Bush Sr on 11 January 1990, she agreed to "low-key" the disaster after their intelligence services had reported "beyond doubt" that the Lockerbie bomb had been placed by a Palestinian group contracted by Tehran as a reprisal for the shooting down of an Iranian airliner by a US warship in Iranian territorial waters. Among the 290 dead were 66 children. In 1990, the ship's captain was awarded the Legion of Merit by Bush Sr "for exceptionally meritorious conduct in the performance of outstanding service as commanding officer".
Peversely, when Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait in 1991, Bush needed Iran's support as he built a "coalition" to expel his wayward client from an American oil colony. The only country that defied Bush and backed Iraq was Libya. "Like lazy and overfed fish," wrote Foot, "the British media jumped to the bait. In almost unanimous chorus, they engaged in furious vilification and op en warmongering against Libya." The framing of Libya for the Lockerbie crime was inevitable. Since then, a US defence intelligence agency report, obtained under Freedom of Information, has confirmed these truths and identified the likely bomber; it was to be centrepiece of Megrahi's defence.
In 2007, the Scottish Criminal Cases Review Commission referred Megrahi's case for appeal. "The commission is of the view," said its chairman, Dr Graham Forbes, "that based upon our lengthy investigations, the new evidence we have found and other evidence which was not before the trial court, that the applicant may have suffered a miscarriage of justice."
The words "miscarriage of justice" are missing entirely from the current furore, with Kenny MacAskill reassuring the baying mob that the scapegoat will soon face justice from that "higher power". What a disgrace."
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Right, that should have got you in the mood for a Food Mall Fake Match.
We will try to be neutral in our assessment of the event although our money might speak.
Well, if Ukraine don't win in Minsk, England only need a draw and then the match might turn into a damp squib with both sides happy with the point.
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The markets have been far too interesting for my colleagues to allow me to talk about it but, suffice to say, there is much active disinformation out there.
Nice timing though...
The Ukraine match is going to finish just as the national dirges are sung, which is going to lead to some mad trading in the three minutes leading up to the off.
Good ol' FIFA...
And a draw it is, so the Poms only need a point...
ITV reckon the game is still in play which is typical.
As is the talking over the Croatian anthem.
Big Times in the Balkans these days with Yugoslavia possibly giving FOUR teams to the World Cup - Serbia, Bosnia Herzogovina, Slovenia and Croatia.
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That will certainly have an impact on the outcome here.
Jolly good.
We're off.
The very late money was on England if that means anything.
Penalty?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
What's Mallenco on then?
Ah! The imaginative booing of Eduardo.
Nearly gets his leg taken off by some thug in Birmingham, looks like he might never play again so give him the bird...
Oooo another penalty.
How exciting!
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Time to purchase your vuvuzelas.
What's the word?
Johannesburg!
Now if that through ball had been towards Calamity or Carson, you would have been sweating.
Great to see a proper keeper between the posts.
Top save by the young lad from Gareth Barry, who should be playing for Eire like Gerrard and Rooney really.
And Lennon.
OMG the French are down to ten men in Belgrade.
Looks like the Play Offs for the astrologer's men...
Well, the dissonant dullards are Engerland til they die, which, from our point of view, is a time which cannot come soon enough.
More boos for Eduardo.
What with Terry bravely telling the world that the English don't cheat (what about Dresden?) and Rooney diving against Slovenia, why are they picking on the little Brazilian?
Must because of the Arsenal thing...
And France are behind after Venus moved into Taurus while Saturn was still in Sagittarius. A facile mistake by the French supremo.....
Yo!!!!
LOADSOFMONEY......................................
2-0.
This is the first time I've cheered on the English since the 1-0 fix against Argentina when Collina gave the penalty etc etc.
It feels a little strange but money is more important than absolutely anything.
Obviously.
Well, if it gets to three, we're off down the pub.
Woooow.
Proper block from Terry.
And the Ecuadoreans have scored in Bolivia as the pressure builds on Maradona.
In a different culture, the saddo's that take their musical instruments along to these events and start up with their commonwealth view of the world are akin to those weird Opus Dei lot in Sevilla, with their chains round their feet, marching round for four days carrying statues.
Until their feet bleed.
Same mentality.
John Terry is looking in heroic mood.
Gosh! You could cut the atmosphere with a knife.
Very quiet at the Mall.
Three goals for Croatia should awaken them.
Goodness me, they are now booing even if the ball is anywhere in the vicinity of Eduardo.
Just hang draw and quarter the little blighter.
And a couple of key goals.
Italy 2-0 versus Bulgaria means Eire need to win in Dublin although second place is secure now.
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And, if Denmark and Portugal match Sweden and win in Group One, what will happen when the Swedes meet the Danes?
And the reappearance of Comet Kahoutec has resulted in 10 men France gaining an equaliser in Serbia. The tailed messenger to the rescue. Bring out the tarot cards for half time.
As expected, Saudi Arabia are in front in the Play Off against Bahrain.
Money talks and Bahrain would be the smallest country ever to qualify for the World Cup finals with only 700,000 people.
Not enough tv income, thank you very much.
The Albanians have equalised against Denmark which means Ronaldo can go to the ball.
Possibly.
Oh Emile!
Oh Lamps!!
Oh Emile!!!
So, at half time, we'll discuss Mike Dean and the sending off of Wenger at Old Trafford. Because there are some things that need to be aired.
Well, apparently Wembley "is believing"...
Believing what exactly?
Anyway.
Mike Dean.
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Well, it is Balkan heaven.
Bosnia-Herzogovina have got the point needed against the Turks for the Play Offs, while Serbia are virtually assured of top place now, and Slovenia are moving into the runners up slot in Group 3. Unless Ukraine beat England, Croatia will also be in the Play Offs.
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Steve McManaman, chum of Carson Yeung, and a possible future manager of Birmingham City, a routine provider of fake information, has jumped from Setanta to ITV.
It all morphs to the lowest common denominator set by BSkyB.
Oh! And by the way...
Only 48 referees are going to be used for the first phase of the Europa Cup with Dean and Clattenburg rumoured to be getting the English slots.
But we cannot be certain as the PGMOB, unlike their counterparts in the other major territories, have not released any information.
as is their wont.
The bloke who says "there's an app for that" on the I-Phone advert deserves a good slapping.
"There's an app for that..."
Off again.
Why don't they sing interesting ditties like "Prince Phillip playing polo on his arse in Stevens Green."?
Wonderful stuff.
The excellently named Okwunwanne has equalised for Bahrain and the Shia's are back in the match against the Wahhabi's, and their own monarchy, I guess.
Anyway, what's happening at the Mall?
Looks like the Three Lions are playing it out and saving their energies for their wage payers at the weekend.
Time for Croatia to score.
And Scotland going behind means that ALL second place teams in the other eight groups are guaranteed a Play Off place.
Super stuff.
And the dole for Burley and Butcher.
And Slovakia's second goal in Belfast means that only Eire will be representing the Emerald Isle in the Play Offs.
Penalty!!
Eduardo - so it must have been a fake.
"His reputation going before him" apparently.
Really.
They could try a spot of extraordinary rendition on Eduardo.
Being hard done by and with Dr John Reid's links, that should be simply another consultancy arrangement for the little Napoleonic one.
"THEY ARE GOING TO THE FINALS IN STYLE"
3-0.
Fat Wallet Time.
Hellas Alas!
Moldova have equalised in injury time as the full impact playing over half the game in Switzerland with ten men hits home.
Touch and go.
4-0
Oh they are "absolutely rampant".
"A platform to go all the way".
Orgasmic in the commentary box.
So to speak.
So the 100% English and the 100% Dutch prepare a Boer Draw in South Africa.
Geddit?
It's been a long day...
Double save and Eduardo, the evil villain, scores to self-righteous boos from the fascistic hordes...
Excellent stuff again. As Klasnic, having survived two kidney transplants comes onto the pitch, he is greeted with the ubiquitous boo.
Think you're a survivor eh?
Well, we've had a profitable night with only the Six Counties letting us down.
Everything is going to plan.
Oh its another.
There you go.
Get rid of James, Carson, Owen and McClaren, and you ain't got a bad team really.
5-1.
If this were a culture with style, there would be celebrations going on now.
Sssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
It's just like watching Brazil.
Well, sort of.
Poetry in motion.
Jumpers for goalposts.
Lets have another minutes silence for Bobby Robson.
And they're bringing on Brad Pitt for the finale.
Apparently, Rooney's not quite on the same wavelength as David Beckham.
Who is?
There was another dive by one of those cheating foreigner chappies there...
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
What is it like being "Happy And Glorious", I wonder?
The big gamble that accompanied Martin Atkinson's replacing Baskakov in Romania was landed.
Where did that emanate from, do you think, boys and girls?
Oh look, there's the band.
What a bunch of gobshites.
Defoe makes mistake.
Drop him.
Start of the Bring Back Owen Campaign in The Sun.
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We predict lots of muggings of pissed up Poms in Pretoria, we do.
Finite!
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