I am unable to listen to the rambling moroseness that is "God Save Your Gracious Queen" without wincing, since the astonishing episode at the recent celebration of thirty years of direct elections to the EU, when the UKIP Party sang the anthem, poorly, over a children's choir who were singing the EU ditty "Ode To Joy".
The UKIP ploy was apparently based on the part of the movie 'Casablanca' where Victor Lazlo led a rendition of "the Marseillaise" as a counterpoint to "Die Wacht am Rhein."
The rather obvious difference being that attempting to drown out a bunch of schoolkids is slightly more odious than trying to outsing a bunch of drunken Nazi stormtroopers.
Unfortunately, last night, I tuned in to the xenophobic bit so that I might witness the memorial to Bobby Robson.
Having experienced the anthems, I was then transported to this strange twilight zone where, instead of applause for a proper professional, there were numerous thirty second cameos exposing the alleged values of various consumerist items.
Where BSkyB trails, ITV follows...
The match between Neverland and Engerland was hardly a Thriller.
We were shaken out of our lethargy by the first decent move of the game...
Lampard played the ball square to Ferdinand on the left hand side of the area.
Ferdinand slid the ball in beautifully to the unmarked Kuyt, who slotted home.
At least our fearless twosome had the decency not to celebrate the goal.
Ferdinand is obviously suffering from Chaos Theory again.
He spends so much time planning his lifestyle around ####################, and producing his free "#5 Magazine", that we cannot blame Rio for still being on the beach from time to time.
After his fruitful period of turmoil and anarchy in the first ten minutes, one might have thought that #5 might up his game.
Not.
#5 failed to make any attempt to block the second Dutch goal having played Barry into trouble in the first place, his distribution was laughable, and he repeatedly kept getting caught in possession.
########################################################
##################################################
#################################################
###################################################################################
################################################################################
But the really really really exciting development last night was the end of the international career of the property developing, horserace training, helicopter flying, casino attending, #########################, ghost-written sporting life that is Michael Owen.
The queue ahead of little Michael continues to expand - Rooney, Crouch, Heskey, Cole, Defoe, Agbonlahor, Bent...
If the situation does not alter soon, there are going to be issues.
Obviously at Old Trafford but also #######################################
#############################################################################
############################################################################
############################################################################
#############################################################################
#########################################################################
#################################################################################
###############################################################################
As the match between two nations representing xenophobic Roma-free zones petered out to a close prior to the inevitable street violence in Amsterdam centre (probably caused by schoolchildren singing nursery rhymes), we were left with a Real-world image emblazoned across these two former imperia.
Within five years each nation will be entirely dependent on Russia for energy.
"Not that I suppose your men will have laid off scrapping by then."
* All posts labelled # are only available fully by subscription.
© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological
