Martin "Butt-head" Tyler: "Uhhhhhh, I've got loads of money on the draw in this game. Uh huh huh huh."
Andy "Beavis" Gray: "Me too. Uh huh huh huh."
Butt-head: "Uhhhhhh, and it IS going to be a draw at the final whistle. Uh huh huh huh."
Beavis: "I know. Uh huh huh huh."
Butt-head: "Uhhhhhh, isn't this supposed to be illegal? Like, against the law? Uh huh huh huh."
Beavis: "Yeah. Uh huh huh huh."
Butt-head: "Uhhhhhh. Uh huh huh huh."
Beavis: "Like, who cares? Uh huh huh huh."
Butt-head: " Uhhhhhh. Uh huh huh huh."
Media Skotoprigonyevsk.
And now to business...
The last few days have clearly demonstrated a primary problem with ScudamoreWorld.
When fake realities become the accepted hyperreality, future hyperrealities are based on this fake foundation, until the eventual neo-reality bears no resemblance to the original 'truth'.
Furthermore, feedback loops create unintended consequences - and such fallacious feedbacks lead you to some very surreal places indeed.
ScudamoreWorld, in fact.
A whole theme-park of unintended consequences...
When we jested in a post last week that the Depression would allow opportunities for ScudamoreWorld to market the brand on the pitch-side hoardings, we did not expect to be proved correct so swiftly.
For as the weekend began, we were approached by our Great Leader, who persuaded us to look away from the competing insider gambles on the field of play at Craven Cottage, and focus instead on the message...
"Get on with each other. Get on with the ref".
Why?
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Meanwhile, Roy Carroll, the Derby goalkeeper who has never had any linkage whatsoever with the gambling world, has been disciplined for two weeks following yet another intriguing betting event at Pride Park.
The most important aspect, of course, is that the story is peripheralised.
Especially as, on the Monday evening, there was a media spectacular to be sold.
A match that neatly sums up ScudamoreWorld.
A match between a team that are partially in administration, are up for sale and are sponsored by a bunch of bookmakers from the Philippines, versus a team that is managed by an individual currently on bail for financial shenanigans and also sponsored by a bookmaking firm from the Philippines.
SBOBET versus Mansion88.
The future of ScudamoreWorld.
Little wonder that our Great Leader, Richard Scudamore, was called into parliament yesterday, in order to explain the non-sustainability of the finances, the issue of criminalised foreign owners and the problems related to gambling's impact upon football.
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We posted earlier in the week about how manipulative impacts are able to change our realities into criminalised neo-realities, when we focused on Roy Keane's reign at Sunderland.
Another manager who was targeted by the powers-that-be was Juande Ramos at Tottenham.
The man was never given a chance.
Unlike his successor...
...dichotomous or what?
Real Madrid utilise holistic sabermetrics in their assessment of all individuals in the game and they have made an astute choice in making Ramos manager until the end of the season.
Still, Redknapp over Ramos, Reid over Keane, it follows a pattern, if you see what I mean...
And, Ramos will probably be getting Carlos Tevez in January.
The contortions of Scudamore and the Premier League mean that the Argentinian MUST be farmed out of the English game before his contract at Old Trafford ends.
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Another great loss to the English game.
Still, its nice to see that our very own talking heads are getting in on the illegal third-party-ownership-of-young-players-bandwagon.
Alan Hansen, David Davies and a bunch of other reprobates are advisers to the child slavery operation called the Hero Global Football Fund (HGFF).
This investment fund will operate in exactly the same manner as the dodgy individuals behind the Mascherano and Tevez nonsenses.
Although HGFF will not be able to operate in England legally due to the allegedly revamped 3rd party transfer rules, when did legality ever have anything to do with anything in ScudamoreWorld?
Why set up an entity that is illegal unless one understands that there are ways and means...?
At least the bookmakers are having a dread week.
Following on from Vidic and the sluicing of many many many millions on Saturday evening, Tuesday saw the most dynamic Champions League market EVER.
Barcelona opened up at -1.5,2.0 on the Asian Handicaps.
By Kick Off, the market was a half-ball.
And, despite the best efforts of a certain Mike Riley, the gamble was landed when Albert Jorquera managed to let all three on target shots into the goal that he was reputed to be defending, allegedly.
Having a Jorquera, perhaps?
Then we had the hyperreality of the Abramovich versus Mourinho feud, with Jose altering his strategy for Inter's match in Bremen in real-time as the situations changed in the matches at Chelsea and Roma.
Seemingly, Mourinho wishes to be in the same half of the draw as the west Londoners...
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And don't even get me started on the prawn-sandwich-eating racists at the Emirates who so targeted Emmanuel Eboué on Saturday.
What, with all the anti-Islamic nonsense from the Geordies, it is evident that the Depression-era racists are already revving up for their decade of recruitment.
And, then Ronaldo leaves the pitch with a stitch.
We would have thought that $55,000 per day might have persuaded the slave to play on through the pain.
The day prior to his Big Award, his exit from the Old Trafford pitch was greeted merely by Manc moans rather than the pseudo-adulation that he expected...
Someone else for Ramos in the summer.
And then the Guardian gives a full page of coverage on Saturday to a Certain Little Family.
And, I don't mean the Karamazov's...
All of these things are marginally interesting.
But they are not as interesting as this attempt at a perfect crime.
They are trying to take PLAY off us.
In ScudamoreWorld, and other theme-parks of its ilk, entities only become hyperreal once they have markets attached to them.
Think climate change...
And free markets destroy all that they come into contact with.
Think banking...
Christopher Horrocks: "The objective irony of our era is that the object might be playing with the subject, natural phenomena with science, the masses with the media."
Time to PLAY with them.
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