Noel Gallagher: "Every time a Manchester United fan fills up with petrol, he'll be financing our transfers."
But not so much as just a couple of months ago - OPEC are thinking of reducing supply to bolster an oil price that has fallen by more than 50%.
A monopoly, market distortion, speculation, gaming the global economy for proprietary advantage - it must be the free markets at play once again.
So, how is the hyperreality of ScudamoreWorld facing up to onset of the Depression?
Lets have a progress report to remind ourselves of where the fuck we are currently located in the ScudamoreWorld Simulacrum.
Next week, we release the Second Part of our exclusive interviews with a leading Far East Football Broker, but for now, you need to be brought up to speed.
* Norwich City v Derby County was not a Premiership game, yet the outcome of the FA inquiry into events in East Anglia on October 4th will increase pressure on the chief executive of the Premier League, Richard Scudamore.
To recap, unusual betting patterns were detected at Half Time in the match. Derby led 1-0 at the interval but bets linked to the Phillipines entirely distorted the market. Five minutes into the Second Half, Roy Carroll gave away a penalty and got himself sent off to boot.
1-1, 40 minutes on the clock, 11 v 10 with the ten men having a reserve keeper between the posts. The scam went wrong. Nathan Ellington scored for the ten men of Derby with a few minutes remaining.
We have to be careful what we say here...
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90% of Premiership football matches are fixes or attempts-at-fixes.
This is not news.
* The Global Financial Meltdown is having massive impacts on the game across the world - witness the recent rounds of World Cup Qualifiers (we'll be preparing a hindsight post in the near future, but our Dietrological clients will understand what we are talking about).
We isolate West Ham and Newcastle below but elsewhere there are repeated structures of uncertainty.
Arsenal - Usmanov, Kroenke, pseudo-lockdowns, the refusal of the Premier League to allow them to compete on a level playing field;
Liverpool - Hicks v Gillett, Wachovia;
Chelsea - The Russian stockmarket has lost 60% of its value of late; termination if Abramovich walks away;
Man Utd - AIG on life support, no waiting list for season tickets, linkage to the Tevez affair, need to win Premiership and Champions League to breakeven, merchandise sales will fall in Depression;
Portsmouth - #########################################################, stretched financially due to Redknapp's transfer policies; bungs inquiry in the area;
Bolton Wanderers - Have large amounts of money wrapped up in the frozen Icelandic banking system.
Across the board, Premiership clubs have close links with the banking sector - nine clubs are linked to Barclays, for instance. With systemic risk being the issue of the day, there should be some very creative reordering of assets and debts being undertaken.
* The sides are being drawn up behind the government/FA and the underworld/Premier League. Sir Richards is refusing to sit on the 2018 World Cup Panel. Scudie is not talking to the good Lord. Andy Burnham has come with seven rules to knock some sense into the game. The elite are squaring up for a scrap...
* Problems remain with the PGMOB Select Group of match officials. Mark Clattenburg remains banned; ###############################################################
#############################################################; the last round of matches saw rampant changing of referees and assistants with a total of 14 alterations causing chaos in the betting markets; there is dissent in the refereeing ranks with one official saying: ###############
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* There are outstanding issues that may well feedback into English/British football. Among the most difficult to hide away are the alleged buying of the UEFA Cup by Zenit Leningrad last season, the rebounding of this story into Glasgow, the FA's lack of jurisdiction over betting that occurs outside Britain, the fixed England v Ecuador World Cup match etc etc
* West Ham United are likely to go out of business in the near future. With up to £50 million worth of liabilities being the likely outcome of the final Griffiths Report in February 2009, a sell off of players is needed to offset the financial crisis being experienced by the Icelandic consortium and Bjorngolfur Gudmundsson. Nobody will purchase an entity in such distress when the entire financial system is in chaos. Sheffield United are securing their cash by taking out an injunction against any Hammers appeal to the CAS.
The Iceman are claiming interest from Dubai, which was denied. West Ham should have done their homework before releasing fake press releases, Dubai Financial Markets have lost 50% of their value this year, and Dubai is currently a poor neighbour to Abu Dhabi.
* Newcastle's only saving grace is their stadium, otherwise they would be reforming as an amateur outfit. The ####################### has seen 90% of his fortune wiped out since February, and each day it just gets worser and worser. He has a toxic club, with legal threats overhanging from former manager, Kevin Keegan.
We have been reliably informed that there are, in fact, NO serious buyers out there.
No interest whatsoever.
And every week, the ################################ sees his money gushing away...
80% of Sumo wrestling matches are fixed, the audience has fallen away and public interest has wained.
80% of British horseraces are fixed, the audience has fallen away and public interest has wained.
90% of Premiership matches are fixed, the audience are not going to continue paying £100 per game live or £50 per month for television for a discredited product.
Your nightmare has returned, Scudamore.
Four quotes to terminate today's offering...
The first comes from Alan Hansen, a man who we know was aware of the recent rigged ##################################### game: "To attempt to fix a game in the Premier League with the kind of spotlight that is on football now would be a daunting task simply because of the level of scrutiny... [it would] need a minimum of five or six players to do it."
Football Is Fixed: "To fix a game in the Premiership with the lack of spotlight that is on football now would be a facile task simply because of the lack of scrutiny... [it would] only need ###########################################################
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UEFA spokesperson: "So it would certainly be worrisome if organised crime... had got as far as the Championship in England."
Football Is Fixed: "What? Even more worrisome than Zenit St Petersburg buying the UEFA Cup Semi Finals and Final, or 90% of Premiership matches being rigged in one way or another?"
Planet Earth calling...
Unfortunately, the blocked out parts of the posts and all posts labelled # are available in full to subscribers only.
© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological
