Originally Published on April 21st 2024 for For Green Fields clients
Cruel To Be Unkind
To be or not to be?
Well, the EPL has chosen not to be.
It is not a sporting construct.
No.
It is a wriggling ball of serpents each umbilically leeched onto markets.
Integrity cannot survive the carcinogenic effect of markets, particularly corrupted ones that exist in an entirely regulation-free universe of a 'secret' loopholed nirvana.
I struggle to think of a comparable level of futility in existence elsewhere to even remotely compare to the EPL and, by association, to UEFA.
Permanent War
Since Covid, football has become dominated by turf battles between entities who, in a legitimate sport, would not be a part of the game.
Off the board.
On the bottle.
There are also statements of power by entrenched and immovable forces like the Premier League - "you can fuck off with your IREF, you peasants. No FA Cup Replays anymore - how's that for trickledown? And, no, we didn't bother consulting with the EFL about no Replays in the FA Cup because we actually don't give a fuck and we are driving the lower leagues out of existence to free up prime time television slots for the Women's Super League. And fuck Ceferin too. Voting against the extension in his term - that showed him. Ha! Fuck you, Ceferin. Prick! And Bloom's European democratic affair? Fuck that too - blow you out of the water whenever we want. We're the EPL and we're hard - shoulders as wide as Hulme Flyover! So what? No English teams in the Semi Finals of either the Champions League or the Europa League; Manchester United and Newcastle United not even escaping the groups! So what? Look how much we are creaming! Anyway. Sweet how we released news of the Fuck-Off-and-Die (FOD) pledge to get rid of lower league teams by starving them out of existence via no distribution of funds and no FA Cup Replays just prior to the FA Cup Semi Finals. Don't look at the football / appreciate our authority."
Permanent Corruption
There have been a few laughable attempts in FT and broadsheets to address the Excess Goals (eG) that have 'magically' appeared this season in the World's Greatest League (apart from the ones that have managed to get a Semi Finalist or two in one of the two premier UEFA competitions, that would be).
The extra minutes being added on to ill-defined rules by PGMOL match officials is one factor correctly identified as was the perceptive observation that Saturn had indeed crossed into Gemini just prior to the goal onslaught.
And that was it.
Those were the reasons.
Okay so.
We'd like to add - doping being entirely open and non-policed, insider trading including on the Both-Teams-To-Score market, a broadening of the base of parties engaged in insider trading with agents, referees, players, suits and criminal fringe trading their slice of the action, the impact of unfortunate occurrences in a matchday battlefield where organised crime groups are going head-to-head over the outcome (1-0, 1-1, 2-1, 2-2...), more control of events by cartels of agents resulting in underperformance of certain players which results in more goals, more intrusive VAR officiating and the triumph of the sociopathic match official in negotiations with juniors, fake penalties for certain teams and for the opponents of certain teams, the need for performative spectacle - the EPL is no longer the same as La Liga or Serie A - the days of three 1-0's and two nil-nil's are gone. The beauty is now in the spectacle rather than the sport and the strategic play. It's more important to all line up and throw a dart in unison than to compete. It is more important to allow Ivan Toney's comeback free kick to nestle in your net than to actually try to save it - your name ends up in the headlines and protective narratives are written so that a piece of matchfixing an honest mistake can be generated with a love for the club and a kissing of the badge and a desire to do better. But never mention the trading, the insider trading, the proxies, the brokers, the suitcases of money. But at least we've got Ernst Young to look after the integrity of the Champions League Draw from next season - EY up! Is that the same Ernst & Young who were accused by a watchdog of "repeated grave" violations in their audit of Wirecard? Surely we can bury that story. And all the other scandals expertly tutored by EY. Just get rid of the journalists. Like that Henry Winter chap at the Times. Just sack the fucker. Make him redundant. Fuck his 35 years experience. The bookies have told us that they will fund our operations if we get bookies' insiders in journalistic positions. Like Jonathan Wilson at the Guardian. A total pseud doing our bidding, the bidding of organised crime. Perfect. No news is good news and no news comes from no journalists. Look at Gaza. Kill them all. Look. Nothing to see here. No genocide. No famine (unless you wish to die reporting the opposite of this 'fact'). Journalism. Fuck Off. Lower League clubs. Fuck Off. Government. Fuck Off. Regulation, IREF, UEFA... Fuck Off Fuck Off Fuck Off. My business colleague until last month - Fuck Off. And don't try to fuck with me.... Some old fucker that I have financially leeched for years - Fuck Off...
© 2024 Football is Fixed
