The moment that England's chances of winning the 2010 World Cup ended came in the fifteenth minute in Dnepropetrovsk yesterday.
At that time, for the second occasion this season in England internationals, Rio Ferdinand, already well versed in defensive shenanigans at Old Trafford, did huge favours for David "Calamity" James, Key Sports agents and bookmakers throughout the land.
And in Gibraltar too...
For at that second, when Ferdinand was dreaming of ############################, the long ball through the nasal passage of what is allegedly a functioning central defensive partnership, led to the dismissal of one of the few totally legitimate keepers at the top of the English game, Robert Green.
In his place came Calamity, and out of the window went all those dreams, all those hopes...
Of course, as Arcesilaus said, "Nothing is certain, not even that", and stuff happens.
James might get injured in the remainder of the season.
Somebody might inform Fabio Capello of ###########################################
One of the other limited options might blossom.
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Okay, that last one was a joke.
People basing their existences on the mainstream media are like all those dolphins or the disappearing bees - they are fucked up by modern communications.
The very very very worst thing that can happen to an English bookmaker is for an England team to win the World Cup.
Patriotic money is an issue in all Engerland matches, but spirals out of control when words like "glory", "waves" and "slavery" start being sung repeatedly.
As England, hypothetically of course, advance through South Africa 2010, the betting turnover increases exponentially.
It is put to the punter as a duty.
Your bookmaker/country needs you.
Back Engerland to go all the way.
We might only be a satellite state of the USA, less significant than California, but we are going to overcome Spain and Brazil, and it will all be like the World Wars again, and '66, and Three Lions, and there will be this huge collective shared orgasm throughout the land.
Except, of course, there won't.
Because after 15 minutes yesterday, on the western limits of another Imperium, Mr Ferdinand did his own particular duty.
So, how do we make money out of this?
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There is always the hope for you excitable islanders that one of the other options becomes a superhero in the meantime.
Forget Kirkland and Carson as ######################################################
Robinson and Foster are both better than the press declares, although the latter like Green has an issue with crosses.
The Birmingham keeper Joe Hart is not only the best option currently, he is the best option fullstop.
Largely responsible for getting the Under-21's to the Final of the UEFA tournament, he missed the loss to Germany in the Final through a ban, he has also performed superbly for Birmingham City so far this season - only Chelsea have let in less goals than Brum in the Premier League Handicap.
And that is your only hope.
Unless one of the superior 'foreign' keepers can be persuaded to do the decent thing...
James has shown his loyalty to Portsmouth by declaring that he is moving to Tottenham in the January transfer window.
As it is Spurs and Pompey, he will probably move back to the south coast again before returning to north London before the end of the month.
These percentage slices add up after all.
As John Colquhoun is in the process of finding out, "vsievo mira nie piereyebiosh!", and the whole strategy of his company is totally dependent on both David James and Theo Walcott making it to the Cape of Good Hope.
The injuries, the returns, the external assistance both in the media and on the field of play, the transfers, the PR campaigns, everything is geared to partial success in South Africa.
Partial success for the nation that would be.
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