Tuesday 16 June 2009

Mock The Murk #

Bond Dealer Decides Not To Attempt To Prove His Innocence In Court, After All

"I totally understand where you are coming from. I understand what you are looking for, and certainly myself and Harry [Redknapp] would be open to listening to, you know, in order to come to some arrangement, if you like, where whatever we need, we'll make sure that we call you, and what you really want is that we call you and only you."

The words of Kevin Bond, Redknapp's assistant at Tottenham, during the BBC Panorama programme exploring the bung culture in English football.

We should currently be enjoying Mr Bond's case at the High Court against the BBC - he accused them of all manner of libellous nonsenses.
Shame that Mr Bond decided, just six days prior to the start of the case, to drop the libel action without any out-of-court agreement with the other party.

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We think that it is a really good thing that such people have such elevated positions in the Premier League.

Government Exploring The Introduction Of Post-Orwellian Treblespeak To De-democratise Confusion

"What we have to do is to return some notion of authenticity" - Matthew Taylor, New Labour Apparatchik.

We need to "make parliament look like a modern institution" according to Peter Hain MP.

The selection of words is key here.
We're in the 'justice being seen to be done' matrix that defines the establishment's attitude to the masses in Britain.

Most people would actually prefer a little bit more than "some notion".

Slavoj Žižek: "... the task is to produce a symbolic fiction (a truth that intervenes into the Real), that causes a change within it."

Michel Foucault: "... what rules of right are implemented by the relations of power in the production of discourses of truth?"

Guy Debord: "In both form and content, the spectacle serves as a total justification of the conditions and goals of the existing system."

Jean Baudrillard: "... the political class and civil society exchange their respective woes..., the one serving up its corruption and scandals, the other its artificial convulsions and inertia."

Dear Leader To Be Denied World Cup 2010 Place Due To "Vain Playboy" Allegations Resurfacing

FIFA has only gone and got itself into a geopolitical pickle again over World Cup qualification.
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Fourth Estate Accidentally Reveals A True Reality, Action Accordingly Taken To Prevent Repetition

The information regarding criminal behaviour by members of parliament only reached the public space due to the actions of a whistleblower.
Journalists at the Telegraph paper were well aware of the shenanigans in the elected house but chose not to report their knowledge until the conjunction of a suitable whistleblower combined with falling newspaper revenues producing a marketable momentum.
Due to the tilting in the revelations, we now have two neo-fascist MEPs in Britain.

We spoke with the Telegraph Group six months ago regarding the systemic corruption in the Premier League. We offered to provide them with full evidence regarding the adjustment of match results for the benefit of both insiders and bookmakers. We were able to offer a full paper trail of private market trading. Due to security issues, we insisted on personal anonymities being maintained. No agreement was reached due to this latter point.

The paper, which had been showing an inkling of interest in this massive sporting corruption (the reason for our approach), has now returned to mind-numbingly irrelevant journalism after SBOBET, the shirt sponsors of West Ham, had taken the paper to court over previous allegations in the paper over the Norwich City versus Derby County Affair.

Consequently, until this week, the Telegraph webpage was still giving us the news that Scunthorpe United had been promoted - which was very good of them as Scunny reached the Championship 23 days ago.

The Fourth Estate?
What a state...

City's Midfield To Be Renamed "The Oil Hedge" To More Accurately Reflect The Mancunian Venture

Abu Dhabi United (ADU) insisted when they took over Manchester City that they were in for the long haul - no short-term profit-taking from the Middle East, we were informed.
In coincidence, ADU took out an 11% share in Barclays Bank, again this was marketed as a strategic investment.

After 7 months ADU closed out its stake in the British bank realising a £500 million profit in the process.

The Man City hyperreality is linked to the oil price and the state of the global economy. The latter is truly fucked and acts as a indeterminate variable in the assessment of ADU's intentions but the former is much more interesting.
Oil is peaking at $70 as we speak.
Oil cannot gain much higher than this level due to the switch to alternative technologies once this threshold is reached.
Furthermore, the oil price has been driven to its current fake position merely by China building up reserves rather than it being some indicator of global economic well-being.

As the price falls and the Depression deepens, ADU are not going to be too bothered about this Mancunian sporting irrelevance, and Manchester City are hardly likely to attract a queue of institutional investors as other clubs are already on the market (Portsmouth, West Ham, Newcastle, Valencia) and more clubs will soon become available that are much more tempting than the self-harming Eastlanders.

"What Is The Robbing Of A Bank Compared To The Founding Of A New Bank?"

We think that Brecht still deserves an answer to his question...

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