Usmanov eats babies for breakfast and Abramovich offers financial inducements to the Russians to beat your national heroes. No matter on your perspective, the new breed of East European owners and board members in the Premiership are far more entertaining in their degree of psychopathy than the likes of Louis Edwards, who merely sold poisoned meat knowingly to Manchester schoolchildren.
Schillings lawyers, acting on behalf of Alisher Usmanov, are threatening writs to various websites and blogs if allegations are repeated about the Uzbek's very murky past. This is the past relating to people being boiled alive, disappearing dissidents, mysterious falls from very high windows, proximity to the Uzbek heroin trade and widespread mafiosi links in case you have missed the point here. Freedom is anathema to the likes of Usmanov and when well-meaning Gunners fans and independent blogosphere operators finger the man's historical abuses, he reaches for the writs. In his ideal world, Usmanov would reach for the cauldron or the gun but, this is England, and the threat of a writ serves his purpose.
Football Is Fixed/ Dietrological will continue to post what we wish to post. If Usmanov wants a day in court, fine. It would take a highly masochistic self-harm profile to willingly have your criminality trawled through the law courts in front of a curious mainstream media and Usmanov limits his disposal of harm to others. Fortunately, the hierarchy and the intellects that matter within Arsenal are aware of Usmanov's baggage and the series of public pronouncements from Fiszman, Wenger and, particularly, Hill-Wood indicates that Usmanov and Red And White Holdings (R&WH) have a battle on their hands. Historically, Usmanov prefers futile victories and backs away from protracted confrontations as such deceleration costs him money and, apart from fencing and crime, money is what Mr Usmanov likes best.
As does that other man from the heart of Holy Russia, Roman Abramovich. Not content with wasting his cash on Ballack and Shevchenko, the Chelsea owner offered the Russia team £40,000 ($80,000) per man to defeat England in Wednesday's crucial Euro 2008 Qualifier. Admittedly, the money was directed through opaque channels (what money related to Abramovich isn't) but the cash was on the table both by sealed envelopes and via the National Academy of Football in Moscow. Interestingly, while other industry professionals in Europe were backing England in a game that they simply had to win, the professional money in Moscow was favouring the Russians.
And England duly won as we predicted last week. If you are one of those "flag of St George" sort of people, it must be so galling to witness what the English national team might achieve if some of the key players on the pitch shared team focus on success with regard to trophies as opposed to success in landing a nice little piece of insider betting. At least we can all look forward to the faces of red-crossed misery filling our scenes when the Three Lions are defeated in the latter stages of the Euro 2008 finals next summer. So close and yet so far. So, so far...
Which brings us on to the latest rounds of the Qualifiers for UEFA's shindig.
We bet that Raymond Domenech is busy consulting his astrological charts this morning as French qualification and, despite a new contract, his job, hang by the thinnest of threads after Scotland's stunning victory in Paris. Monsieur Domenech angered the powers-that-be within UEFA by bringing the corrupting of referees into the media spotlight when UEFA (and all other football institutions) would prefer such goings-on to remain firmly in the shadows away from public gaze. Domenech's team would, under any normal circumstances, have been subtly aided by the officials as it became apparent that Scotland were a real proposition. From the angle of professional trader, the officiating of Konrad Plautz was very meritocratic - we believe that the French would have been presented with an injury time penalty for Ferguson's handball in all usual scenarios. And, Plautz is one of UEFA's main men. He gets the big important games and acts accordingly - he refereed the recent Super Cup between Milan and Sevilla, for example. Running Euro 2008 Group B through the computer suggests that there is value in opposition to French qualification in the markets. We will reserve trading judgement though and wait for UEFA to reveal its hand further on this matter - remember it was one of their competitions that Domenech alluded to being compromised by the actions of a corrupt UEFA referee. In a similar manner that Mike Newell has disappeared from any football radar since exposing the bungs scandal in Britain, we expect Domenech will soon be offering chart readings as a career as opposed to as an idiotic management tool for the alleged benefit of the French national team.
Baby eaters, billionaires, Scorpio-favouring managers, corrupt footballers and referees. At least, one can still find old-fashioned football in one corner of Europe. Steve Staunton's Eire are crap. But, at least, they are honestly crap. It is an impossibility for the authorities and management behind Irish football to become any more inept and amateurish. Totally impossible...
Jack Charlton left a legacy for the Irish game. Not only did the man oversee all the best Irish hour-and-a-halves, he created a real interest in "that bloody English game" and the current Irish team should be seeing the benefit of those youngsters converted and energised by that great Irish team. And what have we got? John O'Shea! Half of the players that are able to pull on the Emerald, rarely, if ever, do as the club wage packets are where their eyes prefer to focus. Most of those who could play through ancestry actually choose not to as the set up has such a bad name.
It all started with the FAI and its commitment to being run as if it were a back-stick hurling outfit. Strategic thinking, market analysis and sports science is not where these men wish to be. They prefer a degree of amateurishness in their sport and the supporters and plastic paddy's are forced to endure the fruits of this laissez-faire attitude. Mick McCarthy and his creative strategy of falling out with Roy Keane before failing to recognise that the Spaniards were playing a man light during extra-time and choosing to sit back for a draw and the inevitable penalty shootout defeat. Suckered in Suwon. The less said about Brian Kerr, who also demonstrated a rampant addiction to parity, the better. 'Nuff said already. So, the FAI sit down to make a decision about the future direction of the Irish game. How about that Steve Staunton chap? Red hair, Irish accent, seems a friendly sort of guy. But, what about his complete lack of experience or lack of any indication that he might possess the relevant qualities required in modern-day international management? Oh, don't be worrying yourselves about that, he might be an eejit but, at least, he's our eejit.
The Irish get it wrong on every single measure. Not being one of the chosen nations both due to the poverty of their domestic football and their lack of financial clout, any qualification for a major tournament has to be plotted like a military campaign. The odds are against Eire. There will be the inevitable refereeing decisions not unlike Kyrie Vassaras and his creative termination of any Irish chances last night. But these things are going to happen whatever so the Irish FA and management should be targeting the areas where they can make a difference to their prospects.
One of these clear areas of potential strategic advantage is in the fixture schedule. Through bartering and innovative negotiation, the professional outfits are always able to construct a suitable route ahead regarding fixtures. For lesser countries, the key skill is to reach agreement with the other group participants without pushing your luck too far. If deadlock is reached, UEFA decides and their listing will always favour the sides that they wish to progress. So, lets look at Eire's fixture planning.
The most important game was always going to against the Czech Republic in Dublin. While the Czechs sat at home enjoying a training session of a 7-0 win against San Marino, the Irish were being walloped in Cyprus in 90 degrees of heat and humidity. Four days later was not a good date for the big match against the Czech Republic.
The second most important game for Eire was this week's return against Bruckner's boys. In a further piece of enhanced self-destruction, Staunton's men decided that the best preparation was to travel to Slovakia for an über-competitive match in a swamp while the Czechs sauntered past San Marino again even gaining the benefit of an extra man for half an hour (as it was still only 1-0, you see) just in case they were over-exerting themselves. Once again, the four day window bestowed a proper advantage which was extrapolated by Vassaras.
It is understandable that the likes of Rooney, Gerrard, Carrick, Carragher etc choose the financial security route of reluctant anglianisation. Indeed, where would the England team be without the players of Jamaican and Irish descent? But, the management in Eire have been entirely myopic and totally non-proactive in their failure to persuade the first- and second-generation Irish in England. Where are the latter-day Ray Houghton's and Andy Townsend's? And who can blame the likes of Nolan at Bolton? Would you rather work your socks off for a bunch of organisational incompetents or do a spot of gardening?
Although, perhaps, unfortunate with Robson's health, the choice of Staunton has been disastrous. He does not read the game well enough, he is not strategic enough in the art of war and he is unable to react to real-time happenings on the pitch.
Eire must expect tough calls in the key games. Some of the refereeing in the loss in Germany was interesting and, over the campaign as a whole, the penalty and red card against the Irish in Cyprus and last night's dismissal of Marc Bolan in Prague were key and strategic. The slicker second level nations eg Croatia have learned from experience that a level playing field is not on the table here. In the major group encounters, avoidance of anything that might be misconstrued as properly punishable behaviour will complicate the machinations of the likes of Vassaras. Such risk cannot be entirely eliminated but a country is able to improve its chances by careful choices with respect to gameplan and playing the game as it actually is in these warped times.
Furthermore, why on earth did the Irish FA not reach agreement over using Croke Park (2 qualifiers, 2 victories, no goals conceded) sooner in the campaign?
And, anyway, any team that requires 94 minutes to score a winning goal against San Marino does not deserve to be in Austria/Switzerland next year.
Get pavi Roy Keane with a mandate to clear out the dross and professionalise the operation asap.
Extremes of amateurism in Eire will be followed by the extremities of corruption as the Premiership returns on Saturday. In an enlightened piece of marketing, the Professional Game Match Officials Board (PGMOB) has decreed that this weekend will be "the Premiership referees are whiter than white" weekend. On one level, in the absence of Uriah Rennie, this is most certainly the case but the campaign attempts to undermine the reactions by players, management, fans, media and all other human beings to poor refereeing by the PGMOB officials. We would have thought an actual improvement in the officialdom should be the target but, apparently, only the marketing of a perception of improvement is required. The AirAsia/Shinawatra sponsored referees will all sport rather fetching t-shirts bearing the immortal slogan "Don't X The Line" in their pre-match warm-ups. Can't wait...
Whether the catchy motif relates to the football pools, cocaine or the Far East betting markets where the handicap line rules the market, we don't know.
In a burst of inappropriate optimism, we would hope it references the personal dilemma facing all top tier referees in England - don't take the bookies dollar and don't cross the line to criminality...
© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological
