Before the heroic Mr Vardy started wearing his Magic Bandage, he had scored 1 Premier League goal in half a season.
Thereafter he scored 28 goals in 46 games.
If we were Mr Vardy, we would patent that Magic Bandage.
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In 1976, philosopher Jean Baudrillard sent his essay 'Forget Foucault' to the French magazine Critique where Michel Foucault was an editor.
Foucault was asked to reply, but remained silent.
When 'Forget Foucault' was subsequently published in book form, Baudrillard added a dialogue where he deconstructed his own early post-Marxian critical thinking - 'Forget Baudrillard'.
And what has this got to do with football, we hear you ask?
Baudrillard's Theory of the Phases of the Image, that's what!
Do Not Forget Baudrillard!
Local businessmen took over clubs for personal gain while players still played sport. As soon as Money hits Play, Play is fucked (2nd Phase).
When the Money is linked to parallel but otherwise independent betting markets, insider trading and corruption govern the sport. Match outcomes are dependent on private agendas. Football no longer exists as a sport (3rd Phase).
By the time the corruption is systemic then everything is fake - football is "a simulacra bearing no relation to reality whatsoever".
Football is now merely a form of entertainment - like wrestling in the old days or WWE, horseracing, tennis, cricket or the dogs nowadays (4th Phase).
It somehow seems apt that Euro 2016 is being distorted in Baudrillard's France but, by-passing that charade, let's look at the English Premier League and, humbly, suggest the adding of a 5th Phase of the Image to Baudrillard's societal analysis.
King Power Land The British Football Franchise Trophy In Insider Coup
Leicester City were gifted the Premier League title last season - a team linked to disgraced blood doper Dr Mark Bonar moved from being the least fit team in the league to the second fittest literally overnight prior to the last 9 games of the 14/15 season. This fitness level was maintained throughout their title-winning season and, interestingly, Leicester only experienced 12 injuries (out of 620 in the league) and also had the fastest recovery times from such injuries to boot.
This infrastructure achieved conspiratorial levels when an inner group of Premier League pgMOB referees started markedly favouring Leicester and undermining potential competitors at the very same date - April 2015.
Little wonder insiders at BT Sport and the BBC were insider trading at such volume on the Foxes pre-season at up to 5,000/1 - that would be the insider trading based on a systemic corruption that extends to senior UK governmental levels.
20% of Leicester City is owned by a secret investor who paid £8m to have the Premier League ignore his stake. After the title was landed, New York-based Private Company Financial Intelligence reasoned that this stake would have increased to £88m - true private profiteering harmony from a South East Asian perspective!
In effect, Leicester City's title win was a gift to very rich people in Thailand, China, Singapore and the UK (and her Offshore Financial Centres)...
... the 4th Phase of the Image in full effect!
But the success of Leicester City was also a triumph of media-fanned absurdity.
There is a 5th Phase of the Image based entirely upon this fake.
From the moment the Leicester team bus picked up Jamie Vardy-lookalike (postman Lee Chapman), Key Sports agents via their coercive control of mainstream media outlets ran with the story in excess. And it is Key Sports primary sluice John Colquhoun who is behind the turning of the fake that is Vardy into a Hollywood movie which we all eagerly anticipate.
The postman was included in this hyperreality until he gained his own media representation. Chapman was then blocked on Twitter by both Vardy and his wife and Key Sports did what they do best by threatening Chapman: "If you do anything that affects Jamie's image directly and his endorsement deals we will take legal action."
And, as we speak, Lee Chapman is travelling around the beaches of France dressed up as Jamie Vardy (even down to the disguising arm bandages) having selfies taken with British tourists who have elevated this postman briefly onto the primary level celebrity circuit.
Chapman even feels that he can offer opinions on the fake story of Vardy being transferred to Arsenal - "If Jamie moved to Arsenal it would be massive for my own personal brand and for my finances. You're going to get more recognition" stated our narcissistic postie.
As we said, the 5th Phase of the Image!
The Bigger Picture
The fragmented cartel of corrupting forces destroying the integrity of British football are making a fortune out of their systemic conspiracy.
Contacts within FIFA, UEFA, the bookmaking sectors of SE Asia and Europe as well as our cellular network reckon that between £6 billion and £24 billion was conspiratorially laundered via matchfixing in EPL last season.
When smoking gun intelligence of matchfixing is provided, the state and enforcement agencies have no desire to proceed - indeed, "withdraw" is the enforcement cry!
And the only way that UK Anti Doping (UKAD) would have taken seriously the evidence presented to it of systemic doping in sport is if the information had been hacked.
In response to the Sunday Times exposures, UKAD moved quickly - now sportspeople are to be warned on social media over impending drug testing so that they might behave appropriately!
UKAD is not fit for purpose.
As Dick Pound, the former president of the World Anti Doping Authority (WADA) stated: "Too many people involved in sport do not want the anti-doping system to work."
Nor do the industry want any action against matchfixing - every single agency monitoring matchfixing is fake or suffers from regulatory capture. These bodies are a part of the problem.
And it has recently reached the stage whereby the value of a player who is willing to undertake matchfixing is higher than an equivalent player of integrity, as a corrupted team will make more money out of gaming the markets on a percentage of matches than always playing in a sporting manner.
All senior figures in government, football institutions, mainstream media and the bookmaking sector understand that systemic corruption is being facilitated for private gain in British football.
There is an arbitrage in knowledge between this inner corrupt neohyperreality and the largely gullible fans' perceptions of reality which are still couched in their pseudo-religious support of their club - we determinedly place Football is Fixed within this arbitrage gap.
But fans unconsciously understand that the game is up as demonstrated by the falling attendances that the Premier League are so desperate to mask.
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The Leicester City fake 'triumph' is the biggest sports story of recent times.
Although portrayed as a fairy tale, it is in fact an affront to the integrity and validity of UK soccer...
... and the eventual implosion of disclosure will be terminal.
Jean Baudrillard: "It is no longer a question of imitation, nor duplication, nor even parody. It is a question of substituting the signs of the real for the real... We are moving ever closer to high definition, in other words to the useless perfection of images. Which, by the same token, are no longer images, having been produced in real time... There lies the dilemma: either simulation is irreversible, there is no going beyond simulation, it is no longer even an event, it is our absolute banality, it is an everyday obscenity, we are in terminal nihilism, and are preparing ourselves for a mindless repetition of all the forms of our culture, waiting for an unpredictable event - but where would it come from?"
Football has become iconoclastic. Modern iconoclasm no longer consists in destroying images but in manufacturing a profusion of images where there is nothing to see - the use of instant replays to rewrite the history of unfortunate occurrences!
It is the End of Play.
Believe Baudrillard!
© Football is Fixed 2006-2016
