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"Everything's Got A Moral, If Only You Can Find It"
The Mad Hatter is a Clown.
He is utterly crazy.
The Queen Of Hearts is a Pawn.
And she is out of her depth.
Alice in Wonderland is a Whistleblower.
And Alice is on one.
"If You Knew Time As Well As I Do... You Wouldn't Talk About Wasting It"
The Mad Hatter and the Queen Of Hearts have been communing together for some time now.
Being a pair of dark empaths, a malicious insanity rules their roost.
The Queen Of Hearts is quite stupid and, as a dark empath, she could not help but reveal to Alice that the Mad Hatter and herself were out to destroy.
Alice in Wonderland?
Malice in Sunderland.
Anyway.
The proper order of things is often a mystery to the Queen Of Hearts.
"Most Everyone's Mad Here"
The Mad Hatter is an assassin and had already cried "off with her head" to Alice once upon a time..
But that was in another folk tale, a long long time ago.
"Whose Been Painting My Roses Red?"
Oh, to be wild like the roses, oh, to be red with delight, Alice's blood was red out of fury as the wind doesn't blow this far right.
The thing is, some leaders are players and players sometimes can be clowns and clowns them sometimes can be dangerous when they're there and yet they can't be found.
Alice decided that it was necessary to go down a proprietary wormhole to monitor the actions of the Mad Hatter.
"Down The Rabbit Hole"
Alice plotted and plotted and plotted.
And then she planned and arranged and organised.
She pretended that she was to attend a football match between Stockport County and Blackpool (but she was actually watching Kidderminster Harriers versus Radcliffe with all her friends either present or linked via an intranet based in County Cork).
Alice was on one.
The Mad Hatter was on the scene (not the correct scene but on a scene) as Alice expected he would be.
Humpty Dumpty, the code name was hatched.
Alice hid all her goodies and her home was monitored by colleagues.
It was the middle of the night when Alice called out to the Queen Of Hearts and one half of a football match later, in spite of flame and danger, she was there at the Palace of the Queen Of Hearts.
Alice's acquaintances parked their chariots suitably in the locale and watched comings and goings and clicked their cameras as they saw fit, and that sort of thing.
"Curious And Curiouser!"
Alice has never done things by halves - to her "no risk, no gain" extrapolates to "massive risk, massive gain".
You only live once after all.
On arriving at the Palace, Alice secreted three devices as she wished to know what would happen when / if she was drugged.
Evidence is everything after all.
"Some Terrors Are Born Out Of Nature, Some Terrors Are Born Overnight, Some Terrors Are Born Out Of Leaders With Their Eyes On A Different Prize"
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"You'll drink before you go" said the Queen Of Hearts and she gave Alice a goblet with strong poison in.
It was Rohypnol actually but this is a Grimm tale so magic must be maintained.
Alice had been given a date rape drug once before so she knew what to expect although this time Alice had an underlying health condition that the Mad Hatter and the Queen Of Hearts were aware of so there was a chance that it could well be "off with her head."
Alice decided that this risk was well worth the drama.
She was soon unconscious as the devices and her Network looked on from their various panopticon locations.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" thought Alice.
And then she passed out.
"I'm Late, I'm Late! For A Very Important Date!"
The Queen Of Hearts had not only used strong poison but lots of it and Alice didn't regain consciousness for 15 hours.
Alice knew that time was of the essence and, after collecting the three devices, she was driven to the Medical Centre by two companions where it was revealed that the poison was indeed Rohypnol.
"Ha" thought Alice.
"Now it is time for my moves."
And then she vomited again.
And again.
The migraine lasted for nearly a week.
All conversations between the Mad Hatter and the Queen Of Hearts have been monitored by Alice's Network using a proprietary worm travelling down wormholes past and present.
"Love hack, baby. Love hack, baby!" sang the B52's in a side gallery.
"The Proper Order Of Things Is Often A Mystery To The Mad Hatter And The Queen Of Hearts"
The Queen Of Hearts pretended that nothing had occurred but Alice ignored all of her advances.
Alice understood that her time would be better spent talking to lawyers and a spy and a friendly policeman in Yorkshire.
Marmalading is far superior to honeypotting, particularly when the honey ain't so sweet/.
"I Wonder Which Way I Ought To Go"
The lawyer and the spy suggested significant reparations were the optimal route as, otherwise, the entire house of cards of corruption in English football would come a-tumbling down once the crime was exposed.
And where's the fun in that?
"Kill, baby, kill. Don't, baby, don't" sang Lisa O'Neill from the balcony.
"The Big Mac, The Big Man, The Big Bomb, The Power Of Money And Lies"
Slowly but surely, the Mad Hatter and the Queen Of Hearts understood that they had a big problem on their hands.
After exploring whether denial was a river to row upon, it quickly dawned on them that they were just three moves away from checkmate.
And as Mick McCarthy once sagely stated: "It can get worse."
And it surely will if reality is ignored.
A date rape drug is a bad thing but a date rape drug when the perpetrators knew that the recipient has health issues is potentially attempted murder.
"When I Get Home I Will Write A Book About This Place"
It's a great huge game of chess that's being played - all over the world - if this is the world at all, you know. Oh, what fun it is!
And whatever move the Mad Hatter makes, it is now checkmate in two.
His Queen Of Hearts is totally fucked and he is cornered and pinned by two bishops, a rook and a queen.
All his base is belong to us.
"There Ought To Be Some Men Moving Around Somewhere - And So There Are"
Having been so close to death, Alice seeks reparations and metamorphosis and resurrection and life.
Alice has no interest in wealth because money is smack but there are many charities that she would like to help.
The Mad Hatter's spacetime is slowly counting down...
... tick tock tick tock.
And the Mad Hatter surely understands his choices.
If he was slick rather than insane, he might even come to realise that some of his options might loosely be termed mutually beneficial...
... although the fulcrum is rather tilted against his interests, particularly if he skulks away to hide in the shadows.
"And, as for you... Your Majesty! Your Majesty indeed! Why, you're not a queen but just a - a fat pompous bad tempered old ty... Tyrant."
"It is better to be feared than loved. Love ain't it."
Oh, to be wild like the roses
Oh, to be red with delight
My blood is red out of fury
The wind doesn't blow this far right
If anybody wishes to communicate with Alice, you may at: footballisfixed@proton.me
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