Feeling Glad All Over, Feeling Glad All Over, Feeling Glad All Over...

John Terry earns more than the entire Blackpool playing staff put together.

The Blackpool budget places them hierarchically in the lower half of the third league.

The whole team cost just a shade over a million in total - Man of the Match Keith Southern arrived for a nominal fee, Baptiste for just 35 grand from Mansfield and 4 On Loan players played a part in the Play Off Final triumph.

But Charlie Adam is Riquelme - a cracking player.

There are those voices who suggest that Nottingham Forest should have been promoted as they finished 10 points ahead of the Mighty Pool.
But we beat them 4 times...
...and there is a Clausura as well as an Apertura.

17 Play off matches have only ever yielded two defeats - and one of those was a rigged event.

Glad All Over, Yes I'm Glad All Over...

The biggest prize money on one match in the history of world sport.
Even CNN News featured the match.

The moment the final whistle sounded, the 4,000 seater new stadium was dispatched from Denmark.
Not to be ready for the new season, the Tangerines are Season Ticket-only for 2010/11 - like Manchester United used to be.

And yet the current ground doesn't even reach Championship status - one more airing for the seminal chant: "We've only got two stands, we've only got two stands..."

And as one of the plasterers said: "Every Premier League fan wanted Blackpool to get promoted. Would you rather party on the Golden Mile or get battered in Cardiff?"

More importantly, the borough needed this.
After the Fake Farce of the SuperCasino, eventually given and then thankfully taken away from Manchester in a prime example of New Labour Strategy (sic), the Promenade Development may continue with the prospect of a healthy combination of football fans and prawn sandwich eaters descending on the town.

Blackpool is a larger and more working class version of Benitses in Kerkyra - from a stylish holiday resort for normal people to shagging in the streets and back to normality again.

"A fantastic day for anyone who has ever even dreamed of liking Tangerine" - Ollie.

Feeling Glad All Over...

With my 40 year old moth-eaten scarf and my 20 year old inflatable Blackpool Tower, this years' Home Strip offset, I would suggest, very nicely by the beige Armani shorts, I was a minor part of the Tangerine hordes - 40% of fans are women and girls - it was one huge Wave of Tangerine Rave.

The bloke next to me had had heart surgery and had been told not to attend by his doctors. The first 45 minutes were somewhat concerning. But as he said, "What A Way To Go!"

The late decision to change to white shirts was a typical Ollie masterstroke in the 107 degrees cauldron and the location of the High-Vis Tangerine Masses Raving in the Spring Sunshine offset the royal blue depression on the west side.

The Pool had done their Sun Tzu.

Glad All Over...

Everyone was crying.
Everybody could see it was part of a salvation for a community.
"Ollie is God, the Players are Amazing, the Town Needed This..."

If I have ever been happier than I was on Saturday, I can't remember it.
I probably have had better days but, in the immediate term, I can't fuckin' remember them either.

Feeling Glad All Over, Glad All Over...

I Ain't Happy
I'm Feeling Glad
I Got Sunshine
In A Bag
I'm Useless
But Not For Long
The Future Is Coming On
It's Coming On
It's Coming On

Walking Up And Down The Prom
After Getting To The Prem

And 10 minutes after the Final Whistle, the joy of winning and the prospects of facing Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal, Bolton had faded enabling Reality to reappear: "Are you watching PNE? Are you watching PNE?"

Shoot some Preston scum...

And hanging from the motorway bridge just where refugees from Preston reach the autobahn hung a huge Tangerine banner claiming: "Forever In Our Shadow".

Sing Softly.
Be Still.
Sleep.

And, without wishing to sound like Father Ted Crilly after he won the Golden Cleric Award, "where are you now Tony Slater with your raggedy in-administration bunch of Nob-Enders?", "and what about you Susan Hill with your sad town of chemical plants and misery?", "and were all those Bradford City fans who celebrated robbing 'Pool of an earlier promotion watching in rapt attention" etc etc etc.

And three things to be considered before the completion of this homage to a town that is, was and always will be a working class nirvana.

1. For those of you who believe that Blackpool are another Derby, Burnley, Barnsley sort of affair.
Nonsense.
Three matches this season against Premier League opposition has produced a 4-1 versus Wigan, a 2-1 victory over Everton and a 4-3 defeat at Stoke after leading both 2-0 and 3-2.
9 goals in 4 games.
4-3-3 with overlapping full backs.
Every attack phased in different waves.
Creating overlaps of attacking options in a rugby-stylee.

2. The timing of the V-shaped decline and recovery that started 39 years ago is perfect.
With the new and unanimous UEFA objectives to flatten the hierarchy of free market abuse in football, well managed clubs like Blackpool with sound finances will be able to battle on a more level playing field.
In the Premier League!
OMG :))

3. And, most importantly, we currently sit one place outside the Champions League slots.
Just behind Arsenal, Aston Villa, Birmingham and Blackburn :)

But, in that revenge is always best served cold, when Blackpool were relegated from Division Two for the first time ever in 1977/78, they were demoted with the highest points total in history.
And it was Cardiff who sent us down.
The match between Cardiff and Leyton Orient was programmed after all the other fixtures had been completed.
Orient had only won one away game all season and Cardiff didn't try very hard at all to prevent the second one.
32 years to respond to that one, you bastards :)

Totally made up...

And even the setting sun was Tangerine...

Tangerine.
Never orange.

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Why Worry About Dark Pools When There Is The Timeless Beauty Of Blackpool?

EIEIEIO
Up The Football League We Go
When We Win Promotion
This Is What We'll Sing
We Are The Blackpool
We Are The Blackpool
We Are Football Kings

We're poor - the fourth poorest borough in the country.
We've got proper haircuts - critical in these times of branded aesthetics.
And we're going up to ScudamoreWorld.

Were You Watching PNE? Were You Watching PNE?

Blackpool have the smallest budget of any team ever to have reached the Championship Play Offs for a place in the Casino.

At the beginning of the season, we were second favourites for relegation.

Ian Holloway, The Second Coming And Then Some, has a clause in his contract which rewards him if he keeps Blackpool in the Championship.
Slightly legally problematical with the Food Mall round the corner...

Seasider Seasider Seasider Seasider Seasider

People who have been watching this beautiful team for the last half century are unanimous in their assessment that this is the best it has been...
Better than Armfield and Suddaby and Suddick and Walsh and Horner and Gore and Ronson and I could get slightly tedious here...

We play 4-3-3 everywhere.
We win and make seven changes. Then with the match 0-0 at half-time, make three more changes and win 3-0.

We have won 8 of our last 10 matches - the defeat was at Championship Winners Newcastle and the Draw with Bristol City which ensured the Play Off place and was consequently a sweet sweet victory.

Chimchimoree Chimchimoree Chim Chim Cheroo, We Hate Those Bastards In Claret And Blue

In a race with Leicester and Swansea for the Play Off places, Holloway brought in out-of-favour strikers from...?
DJ Campbell from Leicester and Dobbie Dobbie from Swansea - and, in the example of universal energy that was tonight's 4-3 victory over PNE Reject Davies, DJ got 3 and Dobbie the other.
I mean...
...how fucking cool is that?

We play like Arsenal.
We had nigh on 70% possession away from home tonight.

And we're hard.
Friday - DJ arrested on the training ground in Blackpool and driven down to the Myre to be charged with a stabbing. Makes his way to Peterborough and scores the goal that took the Mighty Pool into the Play Off positions.

Oh! Fucking Joy!!!!!!!!!

Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside. Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Sea. Oh I Do Like To Walk Along The Prom Prom Prom. Where The Pool Fans Sing Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom, Fuck Off West Brom...

When asked at the press conference (after defeating Forest for the third time this season) whether Blackpool could seriously consider ScudamoreWorld football, what with the poverty and the budget and the three stands and the assortment of criminals and the bumpy pitch an' all, The Goatied Deity graciously responded: "Have you been drinking my friend?"

And I have...

But, on a well selfish level, I might have worried that nearly two decades of dealing with markets and corruption ruining football might have destroyed that inner Reality of what this game can still, at times, mean.

I'm on a well big winning run of trades at the moment but nothing comes anywhere near the sheer ecstatic eruption that greeted DJ's first goal tonight.

LaLaLaLaLaaaaaaaaa
LaLaLaLaLaaaaaaaaa
LaLaLaLaLaaaaaaaaa
LaLaLaLaLaaaaaaaaa...

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I'm Not A Racist But It Would Seem That The Vast Majority Of You Fuckers On The Electoral Register Are #

I'm Not A Racist But La Liga Is Strongly Biased In Favour Of Real Madrid And Castille

Check out the teams that HyperReal Madrid puppet.
Check the matches adjacent to the Champions League for Barcelona.
Check out the key match decisions over the season - our proprietary index shows HyperReal Franco at ## and FC Catalunya at ## (where 100 is pure corruption in a positive direction and 0 is pure corruption t'other way).

Viva La Quinta Brigada :)

I'm Not A Racist But Many Italians Are

Being Black in Italy is like being Black in Buxton.
That is, grim...

Mario Balotelli is an Uppity Nigger and Italy doesn't do Black Power.

Mourinho doesn't get on with Mario, his teammates don't get on with Mario, the Italian media slaughters Mario and the Inter fans aren't too struck on him either.

Over to Mino Raiola, Mario's agent: "A few days ago Mario found that someone had loosened the wheel nuts on his car. If someone isn’t careful, he risks getting killed on the motorway."

He is not yet 20 years of age.

I'm Not A Racist But William Hill Bookmakers Target Addicts

Online you will find numerous inducements to open a gambling account with Leeds-based bookies William Hill.
To encourage you to start up a new addictive pastime, they offer you a bribe of £25.

If, however, you visit the male urinal of any public house authorised to show ScudamoreWorld live and such bog offers Advertising While You Piss, you will see an offer from William Hill providing you with a £30 free bet to join up.

At the very least grab the fiver.

A postmodern marketing reflection of the historical proximity of licensed betting offices to pubs.

If William Hill knew where they were located, they'd be next door to smack houses and opium dens too.

I'm Not A Racist But I'm A Leader Of A British Political Party

Excellent.
The mask is off.

The British Election 2010 is to be decided by the Le Pen factor.

The French possessed the good sense to prevent the racists gaining power by isolating the anti-immigration vote in one loci.
This is not feasible here due to the distribution of bigots across the political spectrum.
The racists are even in the Green Party in this septic isle.

What a nasty and irrelevant little place...

I'm Not A Racist But Party Leader Admits That The State Is A Mafiosi

Nick Clegg wants to get the lunatic asylum seekers: "out of the hands of the criminals and into the hands of the taxman."
!!!!!!!

Yo! Pay protection money to us instead.

Jean Baudrillard: "Monopoly structures (and any state is a monopoly, since it claims a monopoly in the political and social spheres) cannot but secrete a para-political society, a mafia of some sort, to control this form of generalised corruption. It is pure hypocrisy on the part of the political authorities to fight this mafia, since it is an emanation of those authorities themselves."

I'm Not A Racist But I Don't Work For A Proper Media Outlet Either

Dearie, dearie me...
Which gutter will Theo Guardian end up in?

Instead of the usual PR exercises on behalf of those who leak the fake news to the peripheralised 'journalists', the paper is now offering straight advertorials.
And on behalf of bookmaking organisations too.

Following on from the season long advertising project in favour of dodgy bookmaker Sportingbet, Barry Glendenning gives Betfair's Andy Gray a chance to promote his clients.

The conclusion to this pitiful nonsense includes the following claptrap...
Andy Gray talked to Small Talk on behalf of Betfair... Tune into www.betfairfootball.com - a great football website... the home of football rivalry."

And there were we thinking that the rivalry was to do with a football match on the pitch and in the stands.

It matters more when they are taking your money out of it...

I'm Not A Racist But Rafa Is A Waste Of Space. Always Has Been. Always Will Be...

Well, the laundry man ain't no astrologer :)
But he did get it right about the excitement and the late goal.

19 defeats in one season.
No utilisation of ball boys during the second leg against the only proper team from Madrid - if you are a glum scouse, count up all those seconds passing away.

I'm Not A Racist But I'm Not Too Happy About The Germans Buying Greece

Those ostriches who believe that state sovereignty matters at all in these Friedmanian Times, should look at the Reality of Greece.

A group of German banks and private companies are considering a proprietary £1 billion bailout of Greece now that the country has been reduced to junk status by the speculative elite who work together to achieve such super-systemic holistic cornered markets.

Baudrillard: "The only suspense that remains is that of knowing how far the world can derealise itself before succombing to its reality deficit or, conversely, how far it can hyperrealise itself before succombing to an excess of reality (the point when, having become perfectly real, truer than true, it will fall into the clutches of total simulation)."

I'm Not A Racist But The Bookmakers Set Up A Fake 'Rigged' Match Last Weekend To Pay For The Damages Resulting From Chievo V Catania

The whispers and the market moves, the fake dynamics while the Real market burrowed underground, the mugs were on a Draw between Livorno and Catania last weekend.
Which is exactly where the insiders and the professionals were not.
We did warn you that this would occur.

And, if you were outside the loop, there was still money to be made.
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I'm Not A Racist But I'm Really Pleased That Glasgow Rangers Will Get No Money From Gary Neville's Testimonial Due To All That Urination In Our Beautiful City

The Greater Manchester Police are not tough enough to deal with Hordes of Hun.

Are there any difficulties with playing this testimonial offshore?
Somewhere away from taxing eyes?

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